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                                    <forename>Joseph</forename>
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                        <title type="main">Youth, A Narrative; and Two Other Stories</title>
                        <title type="sub">Heart of Darkness</title>
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                            <date when="1902">1902</date>
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        <front>
            <pb n="65"/>
            <titlePage>
                <titlePart>Heart of Darkness</titlePart>
                <docImprint/>
            </titlePage>
        </front>
        <body>
            <head type="sub">I</head>
                <p>The <hi rend="italic">Nellie</hi>, a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor without
                a flutter of the sails, and was at rest. The flood had made,
                the wind was nearly calm, and being bound down the
                river, the only thing for it was to come to and wait for
                the turn of the tide.
                </p>
                <p>The sea-reach of the Thames stretched before us like
                the beginning of an interminable waterway. In the offing
                the sea and the sky were welded together without a joint,
                and in the luminous space the tanned sails of the barges
                drifting up with the tide seemed to stand still in
                red clusters of canvas sharply peaked, with gleams of
                varnished sprits. A haze rested on the low shores that
                ran out to sea in vanishing flatness. The air was dark
                above Gravesend, and farther back still seemed condensed
                into a mournful gloom, brooding motionless over the
                biggest, and the greatest, town on earth.
                </p>
                <p>The Director of Companies was our captain and our
                host. We four affectionately watched his back as he stood
                in the bows looking to seaward. On the whole river there
                was nothing that looked half so nautical. He resembled a
                pilot, which to a seaman is trustworthiness personified.
                It was difficult to realize his work was not out there in the
                luminous <ref corresp="estuary" target="_estuary">estuary</ref>
                <note target="_estuary" xml:id="estuary" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                The tidal mouth of a great river, where the tide meets the current of fresh water.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>, but behind him, within the brooding
                gloom.
                </p>
                <p>Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere,
                the bond of the sea. Besides holding our hearts
                together through long periods of separation, it had the
                effect of making us tolerant of each other's yarns—and
                even convictions. The Lawyer—the best of old
                fellows—had, because of his many years and many virtues,
                <pb n="66"/>
                the only cushion on deck, and was lying on the only rug.
                The Accountant had brought out already a box of dominoes,
                and was toying architecturally with the bones. Marlow
                sat cross-legged right aft, leaning against the mizzen-mast. He had sunken cheeks, a yellow complexion, a
                straight back, an ascetic aspect, and, with his arms
                dropped, the palms of hands outwards, resembled an
                idol. The Director, satisfied the anchor had good hold,
                made his way aft and sat down amongst us. We exchanged
                a few words lazily. Afterwards there was silence on
                board the yacht. For some reason or other we did not
                begin that game of dominoes. We felt meditative, and fit
                for nothing but placid staring. The day was ending in a
                serenity of still and exquisite brilliance. The water shone
                pacifically; the sky, without a speck, was a benign
                immensity of unstained light; the very mist on the Essex
                marsh was like a gauzy and radiant fabric, hung from
                the wooded rises inland, and draping the low shores in
                diaphanous folds. Only the gloom to the west, brooding
                over the upper reaches, became more sombre every minute,
                as if angered by the approach of the sun.
                </p>
                <p>And at last, in its curved and imperceptible fall, the sun
                sank low, and from glowing white changed to a dull red
                without rays and without heat, as if about to go out
                suddenly, stricken to death by the touch of that gloom brooding
                over a crowd of men.
                </p>
                <p>Forthwith a change came over the waters, and the
                serenity became less brilliant but more profound. The
                old river in its broad reach rested unruffled at the decline
                of day, after ages of good service done to the race that
                peopled its banks, spread out in the tranquil dignity of a
                waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth. We
                looked at the venerable stream not in the vivid flush of a
                short day that comes and departs for ever, but in the
                <ref target="_august" corresp="august">august</ref>
                <note target="_august" xml:id="august" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                Inspiring or worthy of respect. Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note> light of abiding memories. And indeed nothing is
                easier for a man who has, as the phrase goes, "followed
                the sea" with reverence and affection, that to evoke the
                great spirit of the past upon the lower reaches of the
                Thames. The tidal current runs to and fro in its unceasing
                service, crowded with memories of men and ships it had
                borne to the rest of home or to the battles of the sea. It
                had known and served all the men of whom the nation is
                <pb n="67"/>
                proud, from Sir Francis Drake to Sir John Franklin,
                knights all, titled and untitled—the great <ref target="_knights-errant" corresp="knights-errant">knights-errant</ref>
                <note target="_knights-errant" xml:id="knights-errant" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                A knight of medieval romance who wandered in search of adventures and opportunities for deeds of bravery and chivalry.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>
                of the sea. It had borne all the ships whose names are like
                jewels flashing in the night of time, from the <hi rend="italic">Golden Hind</hi>
                returning with her rotund flanks full of treasure, to be
                visited by the Queen's Highness and thus pass out of
                the gigantic tale, to the <hi rend="italic">Erebus</hi> and <hi rend="italic">Terror</hi>, bound on
                other conquests—and that never returned. It had known
                the ships and the men. They had sailed from Deptford,
                from Greenwich, from Erith—the adventurers and the
                settlers; kings' ships and the ships of men on 'Change;
                captains, admirals, the dark "interlopers" of the Eastern
                trade, and the commissioned "generals" of East India
                fleets. Hunters for gold or pursuers of fame, they all
                had gone out on that stream, bearing the sword, and often
                the torch, messengers of the might within the land,
                bearers of a spark from the sacred fire. What greatness had
                not floated on the ebb of that river into the mystery of an
                unknown earth! . . . The dreams of men, the seed of
                commonwealths, the germs of empires.
                </p>
                <p>The sun set; the dusk fell on the stream, and lights
                began to appear along the shore. The Chapman light-house, a three-legged thing erect on a mud-flat, shone
                strongly. Lights of ships moved in the fairway—a great
                stir of lights going up and going down. And farther west
                on the upper reaches the place of the monstrous town was
                still marked ominously on the sky, a brooding gloom in
                sunshine, a lurid glare under the stars.
                </p>
                <p>"And this also," said Marlow suddenly, "has been one
                of the dark places of the earth."
                </p>
                <p>He was the only man of us who still "followed the sea."     
                The worst that could be said of him was that he did not
                represent his class. He was a seaman, but he was a
                wanderer, too, while most seamen lead, if one may so express
                it, a sedentary life. Their minds are of the stay-at-home order, and their home is always with them—the
                ship; and so is their country—the sea. One ship is very
                much like another, and the sea is always the same. In the
                immutability of their surroundings the foreign shores, the
                foreign faces, the changing immensity of life, glide past,
                veiled not by a sense of mystery but by a slightly
                disdainful ignorance; for there is nothing mysterious to a
                <pb n="68"/>
                seaman unless it be the sea itself, which is the mistress
                of his existence and as inscrutable as Destiny. For the
                rest, after his hours of work, a casual stroll or a casual
                spree on shore suffices to unfold for him the secret of a
                whole continent, and generally he finds the secret not
                worth knowing. The yarns of seamen have a direct
                simplicity, the whole meaning of which lies within the shell
                of a cracked nut. But Marlow was not typical (if his
                propensity to spin yarns be excepted), and to him the
                meaning of an episode was not inside like a kernel but
                outside, enveloping the tale which brought it out only as
                a glow brings out a haze, in the likeness of one of these
                misty halos that sometimes are made visible by the
                spectral illumination of moonshine.
                </p>
                <p>His remark did not seem at all surprising. It was just
                like Marlow. It was accepted in silence. No one took the
                trouble to grunt even; and presently he said, very slow—
                </p>
                <p>"I was thinking of very old times, when the Romans
                first came here, nineteen hundred years ago—the other
                day. . . . Light came out of this river since—you say
                Knights? Yes; but it is like a running blaze on a plain,
                like a flash of lightning in the clouds. We live in the
                flicker—may it last as long as the old earth keeps rolling!
                But darkness was here yesterday. Imagine the feelings
                of a commander of a fine—what d'ye call 'em?—<ref target="_trireme" corresp="trireme">trireme</ref>
                <note target="_trireme" xml:id="trireme" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                An ancient galley (originally Greek, afterwards also Roman) with three ranks of oars one above another, used chiefly as a ship of war.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>
                in the Mediterranean, ordered suddenly to the
                north; run overland across the Gauls in a hurry; put in
                charge of one of these craft the legionaries—a wonderful
                lot of handy men they must have been, too—used to
                build, apparently by the hundred, in a month or two,
                if we may believe what we read. Imagine him here—the
                very end of the world, a sea the colour of lead, a sky
                the colour of smoke, a kind of ship about as rigid as a
                concertina—and going up this river with stores, or orders,
                or what you like. Sand-banks, marshes, forests,
                savages,—precious little to eat fit for a civilized man,
                nothing but Thames water to drink. No Falernian wine
                here, no going ashore. Here and there a military camp
                lost in a wilderness, like a needle in a bundle of hay—cold,
                fog, tempests, disease, exile, and death—death skulking
                in the air, in the water, in the bush. They must have
                been dying like flies here. Oh, yes—he did it. Did it very
                <pb n="69"/>
                well, too, no doubt, and without thinking much about it
                either, except afterwards to brag of what he had gone
                through in his time, perhaps. They were men enough to
                face the darkness. And perhaps he was cheered by
                keeping his eye on a chance of promotion to the fleet
                at Ravenna by and by, if he had good friends in Rome and
                survived the awful climate. Or think of a decent young
                citizen in a toga—perhaps too much dice, you know—coming
                out here in the train of some prefect, or tax-gatherer, or trader even, to mend his fortunes. Land in
                a swamp, march through the woods, and in some inland
                post feel the savagery, the utter savagery, had closed
                round him—all that mysterious life of the wilderness
                that stirs in the forest, in the jungles, in the hearts of wild
                men. There's no initiation either into such mysteries.
                He has to live in the midst of the incomprehensible, which
                is also detestable. And it has a fascination, too, that
                goes to work upon him. The fascination of the abomination—you
                know, imagine the growing regrets, the longing to
                escape, the powerless disgust, the surrender, the hate."</p>
                <p>He paused.</p>
                <p>"Mind," he began again, lifting one arm from the elbow,
                the palm of the hand outwards, so that, with his legs
                folded before him, he had the pose of a Buddha preaching
                European clothes and without a lotus-flower—in
                "Mind, none of us would feel exactly like this. What
                saves us is efficiency—the devotion to efficiency. But
                these chaps were not much account, really. They were no
                colonists; their administration was merely a squeeze, and
                nothing more, I suspect. They were conquerors, and for
                that you want only brute force—nothing to boast of,
                when you have it, since your strength is just an accident
                arising from the weakness of others. They grabbed what
                they could get for the sake of what was to be got. It was
                just robbery with violence, aggravated murder on a great
                scale, and men going at it blind—as is very proper for
                those who tackle a darkness. The conquest of the earth,
                which mostly means the taking it away from those who
                have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than
                ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it too
                much. What redeems it is the idea only. An idea at the
                back of it; not a sentimental pretence but an idea; and an
                <pb n="70"/>
                unselfish belief in the idea—something you can set up,
                and bow down before, and offer a sacrifice to. . . ."
                </p>
                <p>He broke off. Flames glided in the river, small green
                flames, red flames, white flames, pursuing, overtaking,
                joining, crossing each other—then separating slowly or
                hastily. The traffic of the great city went on in the deepening
                night upon the sleepless river. We looked on, waiting
                patiently—there was nothing else to do till the end of the
                flood; but it was only after a long silence, when he said, in
                a hesitating voice, "I suppose you fellows remember I
                did once turn fresh-water sailor for a bit," that we knew
                we were fated, before the ebb began to run, to hear about
                one of Marlow's inconclusive experiences.
                </p>
                <p>"I don't want to bother you much with what happened
                to me personally," he began, showing in this remark the
                weakness of many tellers of tales who seem so often unaware
                of what their audience would like best to hear; "yet
                to understand the effect of it on me you ought to know
                how I got out there, what I saw, how I went up that river
                to the place where I first met the poor chap. It was the
                farthest point of navigation and the culminating point of
                my experience. It seemed somehow to throw a kind of
                light on everything about me—and into my thoughts. It
                was sombre enough, too—and pitiful—not extraordinary
                in any way—not very clear either. No, not very clear.
                And yet it seemed to throw a kind of light.
                </p>
                <p>"I had then, as you remember, just returned to London
                after a lot of Indian Ocean, Pacific, China Seas—a regular
                dose of the East — six years or so, and I was loafing about,
                hindering you fellows in your work and invading your
                homes, just as though I had got a heavenly mission to
                civilize you. It was very fine for a time, but after a bit I
                did get tired of resting. Then I began to look for a ship—I
                should think the hardest work on earth. But the ships
                wouldn't even look at me. And I got tired of that game,
                too.
                </p>
                <p>"Now when I was a little chap I had a passion for
                maps. I would look for hours at South America, or
                Africa, or Australia, and lose myself in all the glories of
                exploration. At that time there were many blank spaces
                on the earth, and when I saw one that looked particularly
                inviting on a map (but they all look that) I would put my
                <pb n="71"/>
                finger on it and say, 'When I grow up I will go there.'
                The North Pole was one of these places, I remember.
                Well, I haven't been there yet, and shall not try now. The
                glamour's off. Other places were scattered about the
                hemispheres. I have been in some of them, and . . . well,
                we won't talk about that. But there was one yet—the
                biggest, the most blank, so to speak—that I had a
                hankering after.
                </p>
                <p>"True, by this time it was not a blank space any more.
                It had got filled since my boyhood with rivers and lakes
                and names. It had ceased to be a blank space of delightful
                mystery—a white patch for a boy to dream gloriously
                over. It had become a place of darkness. But there was
                in it one river especially, a mighty big river, that you
                could see on the map, resembling an immense snake uncoiled,
                with its head in the sea, its body at rest curving
                afar over a vast country, and its tail lost in the depths of
                the land. And as I looked at the map of it in a shop-window, it fascinated me as a snake would a bird—a silly
                little bird. Then I remembered there was a big concern,
                a Company for trade on that river. Dash it all! I thought
                to myself, they can't trade without using some kind of
                craft on that lot of fresh water—steamboats! Why
                shouldn't I try to get charge of one? I went on along
                Fleet Street, but could not shake off the idea. The snake
                had charmed me.
                </p>
                <p>"You understand it was a Continental concern, that
                Trading society; but I have a lot of relations living on the
                Continent, because it's cheap and not so nasty as it
                looks, they say.
                </p>
                <p>"I am sorry to own I began to worry them. This was
                already a fresh departure for me. I was not used to get
                things that way, you know. I always went my own road
                and on my own legs where I had a mind to go. I wouldn't
                have believed it of myself; but, then—you see—I felt
                somehow I must get there by hook or by crook. So I
                worried them. The men said 'My dear fellow,' and did
                nothing. Then—would you believe it?—I tried the women.
                I, Charlie Marlow, set the women to work—to get a job.
                Heavens! Well, you see, the notion drove me. I had an
                aunt, a dear enthusiastic soul. She wrote: 'It will be
                <pb n="72"/>
                delightful. I am ready to do anything, anything for you. It
                is a glorious idea. I know the wife of a very high personage
                in the Administration, and also a man who has lots
                of influence with,' etc. She was determined to make
                no end of fuss to get me appointed skipper of a river
                steamboat, if such was my fancy.
                </p>
                <p>"I got my appointment—of course; and I got it very
                quick. It appears the Company had received news that
                one of their captains had been killed in a scuffle with the
                natives. This was my chance, and it made me the more
                anxious to go. It was only months and months afterwards,
                when I made the attempt to recover what was left of the
                body, that I heard the original quarrel arose from a
                misunderstanding about some hens. Yes, two black hens.
                Fresleven—that was the fellow's name, a Dane—thought
                himself wronged somehow in the bargain, so he went
                ashore and started to hammer the chief of the village
                with a stick. Oh, it didn't surprise me in the least to hear
                this, and at the same time to be told that Fresleven was
                the gentlest, quietest creature that ever walked on two
                legs. No doubt he was; but he had been a couple of
                years already out there engaged in the noble cause, you
                know, and he probably felt the need at last of asserting
                his self-respect in some way. Therefore he whacked the
                old nigger mercilessly, while a big crowd of his people
                watched him, thunderstruck, till some man—I was told
                the chief's son—in desperation at hearing the old chap
                yell, made a tentative jab with a spear at the white man—and
                of course it went quite easy between the shoulder-blades. Then the whole population cleared into the
                forest, expecting all kinds of calamities to happen, while,
                on the other hand, the steamer Fresleven commanded
                left also in a bad panic, in charge of the engineer, I believe.
                Afterwards nobody seemed to trouble much about
                Fresleven's remains, till I got out and stepped into his
                shoes. I couldn't let it rest, though; but when an
                opportunity offered at last to meet my predecessor, the grass
                growing through his ribs was tall enough to hide his bones.
                They were all there. The supernatural being had not been
                touched after he fell. And the village was deserted, the
                huts gaped black, rotting, all askew within the fallen
                enclosures. A calamity had come to it, sure enough. The
                <pb n="73"/>
                people had vanished. Mad terror had scattered them,
                men, women, and children, through the bush, and they
                had never returned. What became of the hens I don't
                know either. I should think the cause of progress got
                them, anyhow. However, through this glorious affair I
                got my appointment, before I had fairly begun to hope
                for it.
                </p>
                <p>"I flew around like mad to get ready, and before forty-eight hours I was crossing the Channel to show myself to
                my employers, and sign the contract. In a very few hours
                I arrived in a city that always makes me think of a
                whited sepulchre. Prejudice no doubt. I had no difficulty
                in finding the Company's offices. It was the biggest thing
                in the town, and everybody I met was full of it. They
                were going to run an over-sea empire, and make no end
                of coin by trade.
                </p>
                <p>"A narrow and deserted street in deep shadow, high
                houses, innumerable windows with venetian blinds, a dead
                silence, grass sprouting right and left, immense double doors
                standing ponderously ajar. I slipped through one of these
                cracks, went up a swept and ungarnished staircase, as
                arid as a desert, and opened the first door I came to.
                Two women, one fat and the other slim, sat on straw-bottomed chairs, knitting black wool. The slim one got
                up and walked straight at me—still knitting with down-cast eyes—and only just as I began to think of getting
                out of her way, as you would for a <ref target="_somnambulist" corresp="somnambulist">somnambulist</ref>
                <note target="_somnambulist" xml:id="somnambulist" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                One who walks, etc., while asleep. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>, stood
                still, and looked up. Her dress was as plain as an
                umbrella-cover, and she turned round without a word and
                preceded me into a waiting-room. I gave my name, and
                looked about. Deal table in the middle, plain chairs all
                round the walls, on one end a large shining map, marked
                with all the colours of a rainbow. There was a vast
                amount of red—good to see at any time, because one
                knows that some real work is done in there, a deuce of
                a lot of blue, a little green, smears of orange, and, on
                the East Coast, a purple patch, to show where the jolly
                pioneers of progress drink the jolly lager-beer. However,
                I wasn't going into any of these. I was going into the
                yellow. Dead in the centre. And the river was there—fascinating—deadly—like
                a snake. Ough! A door opened,
                <pb n="74"/>
                a white-haired secretarial head, but wearing a compassionate
                expression, appeared, and a skinny forefinger
                beckoned me into the sanctuary. Its light was dim, and
                a heavy writing-desk squatted in the middle. From behind
                that structure came out an impression of pale plumpness
                in a frock-coat. The great man himself. He was five feet
                six, I should judge, and had his grip on the handle-end
                of ever so many millions. He shook hands, I fancy, murmured
                vaguely, was satisfied with my French. <hi rend="italic">Bon Voyage</hi>.
                </p>
                <p>"In about forty-five seconds I found myself again in
                the waiting-room with the compassionate secretary, who,
                full of desolation and sympathy, made me sign some document.
                I believe I undertook amongst other things not
                to disclose any trade secrets. Well, I am not going to.
                </p>
                <p>"I began to feel slightly uneasy. You know I am not
                used to such ceremonies, and there was something
                ominous in the atmosphere. It was just as though I had
                been let into some conspiracy—I don't know—something
                not quite right; and I was glad to get out. In the outer
                room the two women knitted black wool feverishly.
                People were arriving, and the younger one was walking
                back and forth introducing them. The old one sat on her
                chair. Her flat cloth slippers were propped up on a foot-warmer, and a cat reposed on her lap. She wore a
                starched white affair on her head, had a wart on one
                cheek, and silver-rimmed spectacles hung on the tip of
                her nose. She glanced at me above the glasses. The swift
                and indifferent placidity of that look troubled me. Two
                youths with foolish and cheery countenances were being
                piloted over, and she threw at them the same quick glance
                of unconcerned wisdom. She seemed to know all about
                them and about me, too. An eerie feeling came over me.
                She seemed uncanny and fateful. Often far away there
                I thought of these two, guarding the door of Darkness,
                knitting black wool as for a warm pall, one introducing,
                introducing continuously to the unknown, the other
                scrutinizing the cheery and foolish faces with unconcerned
                old eyes. <hi rend="italic">Ave!</hi> Old knitter of black wool. <hi rend="italic">Morituri te salutant</hi>.
                Not many of those she looked at ever saw her
                again—not half, by a long way.
                </p>
                <p>"There was yet a visit to the doctor. 'A simple formality,'
                <pb n="75"/>
                assured me the secretary, with an air of taking an
                immense part in all my sorrows. Accordingly a young
                chap wearing his hat over the left eyebrow, some clerk I
                suppose—there must have been clerks in the business,
                though the house was as still as a house in a city of the
                dead—came from somewhere up-stairs, and led me forth.
                He was shabby and careless, with inkstains on the sleeves
                of his jacket, and his cravat was large and billowy, under
                a chin shaped like the toe of an old boot. It was a little
                too early for the doctor, so I proposed a drink, and
                thereupon he developed a vein of joviality. As we sat
                over our vermouths he glorified the Company's business,
                and by and by I expressed casually my surprise at him
                not going out there. He became very cool and collected
                all at once. 'I am not such a fool as I look, quoth Plato
                to his disciples,' he said sententiously, emptied his glass
                with great resolution, and we rose.
                </p>
                <p>"The old doctor felt my pulse, evidently thinking of
                something else the while. 'Good, good for there,' he mumbled,
                and then with a certain eagerness asked me whether
                I would let him measure my head. Rather surprised, I
                said Yes, when he produced a thing like calipers and got
                the dimensions back and front and every way, taking
                notes carefully. He was an unshaven little man in a
                threadbare coat like a gaberdine, with his feet in slippers,
                and I thought him a harmless fool. 'I always ask leave,
                in the interests of science, to measure the crania of those
                going out there,' he said. 'And when they come back,
                too?' I asked. 'Oh, I never see them,' he remarked; 'and,
                moreover, the changes take place inside, you know.' He
                smiled, as if at some quiet joke. 'So you are going out
                there. Famous. Interesting, too.' He gave me a searching
                glance, and made another note. 'Ever any madness in
                your family?' he asked, in a matter-of-fact tone. I felt
                very annoyed. 'Is that question in the interests of science,
                too?' 'It would be,' he said, without taking notice of my
                irritation, 'interesting for science to watch the mental
                changes of individuals, on the spot, but . . .' 'Are you an
                <ref target="_alienist" corresp="alienist">alienist</ref>
                <note target="_alienist" xml:id="alienist" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                A psychiatrist; (in later use chiefly) spec. one who specializes in acting as an expert in court to assess
                whether a defendant is sane and can therefore be held criminally responsible for his or her crime.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>?' I interrupted. 'Every doctor should be—a little,'
                answered that original, imperturbably. 'I have a little theory
                which you messieurs who go out there must help me
                to prove. This is my share in the advantages my country
                <pb n="76"/>
                shall reap from the possession of such a magnificent dependency.
                The mere wealth I leave to others. Pardon my
                questions, but you are the first Englishman coming under
                my observation . . .' I hastened to assure him I was not in
                the least typical. 'If I were,' said I, 'I wouldn't be talking
                like this with you.' 'What you say is rather profound, and
                probably erroneous,' he said, with a laugh. 'Avoid irritation
                more than exposure to the sun. Adieu. How do
                you English say, eh? Good-bye. Ah! Good-bye. Adieu.
                In the tropics one must before everything keep calm.'
                . . . He lifted a warning forefinger. . . . '
                <hi rend="italic">Du calme, du calme. Adieu</hi>.'
                </p>
                <p>"One thing more remained to do—say good-bye to my
                excellent aunt. I found her triumphant. I had a cup of
                tea—the last decent cup of tea for many days—and in a
                room that most soothingly looked just as you would expect
                a lady's drawing-room to look, we had a long quiet
                chat by the fireside. In the course of these confidences it
                became quite plain to me I had been represented to the
                wife of the high dignitary, and goodness knows to how
                many more people besides, as an exceptional and gifted
                creature—a piece of good fortune for the Company—a
                man you don't get hold of every day. Good heavens! and
                I was going to take charge of a two-penny-half-penny
                river-steamboat with a penny whistle attached! It appeared,
                however, I was also one of the Workers, with a
                capital—you know. Something like an emissary of light,
                something like a lower sort of apostle. There had been a
                lot of such rot let loose in print and talk just about that
                time, and the excellent woman, living right in the rush of
                all that humbug, got carried off her feet. She talked about
                'weaning those ignorant millions from their horrid ways,'
                till, upon my word, she made me quite uncomfortable. I
                ventured to hint that the Company was run for profit.
                </p>
                <p>"'You forget, dear Charlie, that the labourer is worthy
                of his hire,' she said, brightly. It's queer how out of touch
                with truth women are. They live in a world of their own,
                and there has never been anything like it, and never can
                be. It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it
                up it would go to pieces before the first sunset. Some
                confounded fact we men have been living contentedly with
                <pb n="77"/>
                ever since the day of creation would start up and knock
                the whole thing over.
                </p>
                <p>"After this I got embraced, told to wear flannel, be
                sure to write often, and so on—and I left. In the street—I
                don't know why—a queer feeling came to me that I
                was an imposter. Odd thing that I, who used to clear
                out for any part of the world at twenty-four hours' notice,
                with less thought than most men give to the crossing of a
                street, had a moment—I won't say of hesitation, but of
                startled pause, before this commonplace affair. The best
                way I can explain it to you is by saying that, for a second
                or two, I felt as though, instead of going to the centre of
                a continent, I were about to set off for the centre of the
                earth.
                </p>
                <p>"I left in a French steamer, and she called in every
                blamed port they have out there, for, as far as I could
                see, the sole purpose of landing soldiers and custom-house officers. I watched the coast. Watching a coast as
                it slips by the ship is like thinking about an enigma. There
                it is before you—smiling, frowning, inviting, grand, mean,
                insipid, or savage, and always mute with an air of whispering,
                'Come and find out.' This one was almost featureless,
                as if still in the making, with an aspect of monotonous
                grimness. The edge of a colossal jungle, so dark-green as
                to be almost black, fringed with white surf, ran straight,
                like a ruled line, far, far away along a blue sea whose
                glitter was blurred by a creeping mist. The sun was fierce,
                the land seemed to glisten and drip with steam. Here and
                there greyish-whitish specks showed up clustered inside
                the white surf, with a flag flying above them perhaps.
                Settlements some centuries old, and still no bigger than
                pinheads on the untouched expanse of their background.
                We pounded along, stopped, landed soldiers; went on,
                landed custom-house clerks to levy toll in what looked
                like a God-forsaken wilderness, with a tin shed and a
                flag-pole lost in it; landed more soldiers—to take care of
                the custom-house clerks, presumably. Some, I heard, got
                drowned in the surf; but whether they did or not, nobody
                seemed particularly to care. They were just flung out
                there, and on we went. Every day the coast looked the
                same, as though we had not moved; but we passed various
                places—trading places—with names like Gran' Bassam,
                <pb n="78"/>
                Little Popo; names that seemed to belong to some sordid
                farce acted in front of a sinister back-cloth. The idleness
                of a passenger, my isolation amongst all these men with
                whom I had no point of contact, the oily and <ref target="_languid" corresp="languid">languid</ref>
                <note target="_languid" xml:id="languid" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">Slow-moving; weak, lacking force.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note> sea,
                the uniform sombreness of the coast, seemed to keep me
                away from the truth of things, within the toil of a mournful
                and senseless delusion. The voice of the surf heard
                now and then was a positive pleasure, like the speech of a
                brother. It was something natural, that had its reason,
                that had a meaning. Now and then a boat from the shore
                gave one a momentary contact with reality. It was
                paddled by black fellows. You could see from afar the
                white of their eyeballs glistening. They shouted, sang;
                their bodies streamed with perspiration; they had faces
                like grotesque masks—these chaps; but they had bone,
                muscle, a wild vitality, an intense energy of movement,
                that was as natural and true as the surf along their coast.
                They wanted no excuse for being there. They were a great
                comfort to look at. For a time I would feel I belonged
                still to a world of straightforward facts; but the feeling
                would not last long. Something would turn up to scare it
                away. Once, I remember, we came upon a man-of-war
                anchored off the coast. There wasn't even a shed there,
                and she was shelling the bush. It appears the French had
                one of their wars going on thereabouts. Her ensign
                dropped limp like a rag; the muzzles of the long six-inch
                guns stuck out all over the low hull; the greasy, slimy
                swell swung her up lazily and let her down, swaying her
                thin masts. In the empty immensity of earth, sky, and
                water, there she was, incomprehensible, firing into a
                continent. Pop, would go one of the six-inch guns; a small
                flame would dart and vanish, a little white smoke would
                disappear, a tiny projectile would give a feeble screech—and
                nothing happened. Nothing could happen. There was
                a touch of insanity in the proceeding, a sense of
                lugubrious drollery in the sight; and it was not dissipated
                by somebody on board assuring me earnestly there was
                a camp of natives—he called them enemies!—hidden out
                of sight somewhere.
                </p>
                <p>"We gave her her letters (I heard the men in that
                lonely ship were dying of fever at the rate of three a day)
                and went on. We called at some more places with farcical
                <pb n="79"/>
                names, where the merry dance of death and trade goes on
                in a still and earthy atmosphere as of an overheated catacomb;
                all along the formless coast bordered by dangerous
                surf, as if Nature herself had tried to ward off intruders;
                in and out of rivers, streams of death in life, whose banks
                were rotting into mud, whose waters, thickened into
                slime, invaded the contorted mangroves, that seemed to
                writhe at us in the extremity of an impotent despair.
                Nowhere did we stop long enough to get a particularized
                impression, but the general sense of vague and oppressive
                wonder grew upon me. It was like a weary pilgrimage
                amongst hints for nightmares.
                </p>
                <p>"It was upward of thirty days before I saw the mouth
                of the big river. We anchored off the seat of the government.
                But my work would not begin till some two hundred
                miles farther on. So as soon as I could I made a start for
                a place thirty miles higher up.
                </p>
                <p>"I had my passage on a little sea-going steamer. Her
                captain was a Swede, and knowing me for a seaman, invited
                me on the bridge. He was a young man, lean, fair,
                and <ref target="_morose" corresp="morose">morose</ref>
                <note target="_morose" xml:id="morose" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                Of persons, or their attributes, behaviour, etc.: sullen, gloomy, sour-tempered, unsocial.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>, with lanky hair and a shuffling gait. As we
                left the miserable little wharf, he tossed his head
                contemptuously at the shore. 'Been living there?' he asked.
                I said, 'Yes.' 'Fine lot these government chaps—are they
                not?' he went on, speaking English with great precision
                and considerable bitterness. 'It is funny what some people
                will do for a few francs a month. I wonder what becomes
                of that kind when it goes upcountry?' I said to him I expected
                to see that soon. 'So-o-o!' he exclaimed. He shuffled
                <ref target="_athwart" corresp="athwart">athwart</ref>
                <note target="_athwart" xml:id="athwart" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Nautical. From side to side of a ship. Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>, keeping one eye ahead vigilantly. 'Don't be
                too sure,' he continued. 'The other day I took up a man
                who hanged himself on the road. He was a Swede, too.'
                'Hanged himself! Why, in God's name?' I cried. He kept
                on looking out watchfully. 'Who knows? The sun too
                much for him, or the country perhaps.'
                </p>
                <p>"At last we opened a reach. A rocky cliff appeared,
                mounds of turned-up earth by the shore, houses on a
                hill, others with iron roofs, amongst a waste of excavations,
                or hanging to the declivity. A continuous noise of
                the rapids above hovered over this scene of inhabited
                devastation. A lot of people, mostly black and naked,
                moved about like ants. A jetty projected into the river. A
                <pb n="80"/>
                blinding sunlight drowned all this at times in a sudden
                <ref target="_recrudescence" corresp="recrudescence">recrudescence</ref>
                <note target="_recrudescence" xml:id="recrudescence" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                A revival or rediscovery of something good or valuable.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note> of glare. 'There's your Company's station,'
                said the Swede, pointing to three wooden barrack-like
                structures on the rocky slope. 'I will send your things up.
                Four boxes did you say? So. Farewell.'
                </p>
                <p>"I came upon a boiler wallowing in the grass, then
                found a path leading up the hill. It turned aside for the
                boulders, and also for an undersized railway-truck lying
                there on its back with its wheels in the air. One was off.
                The thing looked as dead as the carcass of some animal. I
                came upon more pieces of decaying machinery, a stack
                of rusty rails. To the left a clump of trees made a shady
                spot, where dark things seemed to stir feebly. I blinked,
                the path was steep. A horn tooted to the right, and I saw
                the black people run. A heavy and dull detonation shook
                the ground, a puff of smoke came out of the cliff, and
                that was all. No change appeared on the face of the rock.
                They were building a railway. The cliff was not in the
                way or anything; but this objectless blasting was all the
                work going on.
                </p>
                <p>"A slight clinking behind me made me turn my head.
                Six black men advanced in a file, toiling up the path.
                They walked erect and slow, balancing small baskets full
                of earth on their heads, and the clink kept time with
                their footsteps. Black rags were wound round their loins,
                and the short ends behind waggled to and fro like tails. I
                could see every rib, the joints of their limbs were like
                knots in a rope; each had an iron collar on his neck, and
                all were connected together with a chain whose bights
                swung between them, rhythmically clinking. Another report
                from the cliff made me think suddenly of that ship
                of war I had seen firing into a continent. It was the same
                kind of ominous voice; but these men could by no stretch
                of imagination be called enemies. They were called criminals,
                and the outraged law, like the bursting shells, had
                come to them, an insoluble mystery from the sea. All
                their meagre breasts panted together, the violently dilated
                nostrils quivered, the eyes stared stonily uphill.
                They passed me within six inches, without a glance, with
                that complete, deathlike indifference of unhappy savages.
                Behind this raw matter one of the reclaimed, the product
                of the new forces at work, strolled despondently, carrying
                <pb n="81"/>
                a rifle by its middle. He had a uniform jacket with
                one button off, and seeing a white man on the path,
                hoisted his weapon to his shoulder with alacrity. This
                was simple prudence, white men being so much alike at
                a distance that he could not tell who I might be. He was
                speedily reassured, and with a large, white, rascally grin,
                and a glance at his charge, seemed to take me into partnership
                in his exalted trust. After all, I also was a part of
                the great cause of these high and just proceedings.
                </p>
                <p>"Instead of going up, I turned and descended to the
                left. My idea was to let that chain-gang get out of sight
                before I climbed the hill. You know I am not particularly
                tender; I've had to strike and to fend off. I've had to resist
                and to attack sometimes—that's only one way of
                resisting—without counting the exact cost, according to
                the demands of such sort of life as I had blundered into.
                I've seen the devil of violence, and the devil of greed, and
                the devil of hot desire; but, by all the stars! these were
                strong, lusty, red-eyed devils, that swayed and drove
                men—men, I tell you. But as I stood on this hillside, I
                foresaw that in the blinding sunshine of that land I would
                become acquainted with a flabby, pretending, weak-eyed
                devil of a rapacious and pitiless folly. How insidious he
                could be, too, I was only to find out several months later
                and a thousand miles farther. For a moment I stood appalled,
                as though by a warning. Finally I descended the
                hill, obliquely, towards the trees I had seen.
                </p>
                <p>"I avoided a vast artificial hole somebody had been
                digging on the slope, the purpose of which I found it
                impossible to divine. It wasn't a quarry or a sandpit,
                anyhow. It was just a hole. It might have been connected
                with the philanthropic desire of giving the criminals something
                to do. I don't know. Then I nearly fell into a very
                narrow ravine, almost no more than a scar in the hillside.
                I discovered that a lot of imported drainage-pipes for the
                settlement had been tumbled in there. There wasn't one
                that was not broken. It was a wanton smash-up. At last I
                got under the trees. My purpose was to stroll into the
                shade for a moment; but no sooner within than it seemed
                to me I had stepped into the gloomy circle of some
                Inferno. The rapids were near, and an uninterrupted, uniform,
                headlong, rushing noise filled the mournful stillness
                <pb n="82"/>
                of the grove, where not a breath stirred, not a leaf
                moved, with a mysterious sound—as though the tearing
                pace of the launched earth had suddenly become audible.
                </p>
                <p>"Black shapes crouched, lay, sat between the trees
                leaning against the trunks, clinging to the earth, half
                coming out, half effaced within the dim light, in all the
                attitudes of pain, abandonment, and despair. Another mine
                on the cliff went off, followed by a slight shudder of the
                soil under my feet. The work was going on. The work!
                And this was the place where some of the helpers had
                withdrawn to die.
                </p>
                <p>"They were dying slowly—it was very clear. They were
                not enemies, they were not criminals, they were nothing
                earthly now—nothing but black shadows of disease and
                starvation, lying confusedly in the greenish gloom. Brought
                from all the recesses of the coast in all the legality of
                time contracts, lost in uncongenial surroundings, fed on
                unfamiliar food, they sickened, became inefficient, and
                were then allowed to crawl away and rest. These moribund
                shapes were free as air—and nearly as thin. I began to
                distinguish the gleam of the eyes under the trees. Then,
                glancing down, I saw a face near my hand. The black bones
                reclined at full length with one shoulder against the tree,
                and slowly the eyelids rose and the sunken eyes looked up
                at me, enormous and vacant, a kind of blind, white flicker
                in the depths of the orbs, which died out slowly. The man
                seemed young—almost a boy—but you know with them
                it's hard to tell. I found nothing else to do but to offer
                him one of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my
                pocket. The fingers closed slowly on it and held—there
                was no other movement and no other glance. He had tied
                a bit of white <ref target="_worsted" corresp="worsted">worsted</ref>
                <note target="_worsted" xml:id="worsted" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                A fine, smooth fabric made from closely-twisted yarn spun of long-staple wool combed to lay the fibres parallel.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note> round his neck—Why? Where did
                he get it? Was it a badge—an ornament—a charm—a
                propitiatory act? Was there any idea at all connected
                with it? It looked startling round his black neck, this
                bit of white thread from beyond the seas.
                </p>
                <p>"Near the same tree two more bundles of acute angles
                sat with their legs drawn up. One, with his chin propped
                on his knees, stared at nothing, in an intolerable and
                appalling manner: his brother phantom rested its forehead,
                as if overcome with a great weariness; and all about
                others were scattered in every pose of contorted collapse,
                <pb n="83"/>
                as in some picture of a massacre or a pestilence.
                While I stood horror-struck, one of these creatures rose
                to his hands and knees, and went off on all-fours towards
                the river to drink. He lapped out of his hand, then sat up
                in the sunlight, crossing his shins in front of him, and
                after a time let his woolly head fall on his breastbone.
                </p>
                <p>"I didn't want any more loitering in the shade, and I
                made haste towards the station. When near the buildings I
                met a white man, in such an unexpected elegance of get-up that in the first moment I took him for a sort of
                vision. I saw a high starched collar, white cuffs, a light
                alpaca jacket, snowy trousers, a clean necktie, and
                varnished boots. No hat. Hair parted, brushed, oiled,
                under a green-lined parasol held in a big white hand. He
                was amazing, and had a penholder behind his ear.
                </p>
                <p>"I shook hands with this miracle, and I learned he was
                the Company's chief accountant, and that all the book-keeping was done at this station. He had come out for a
                moment, he said, 'to get a breath of fresh air.' The
                expression sounded wonderfully odd, with its suggestion of
                sedentary desk-life. I wouldn't have mentioned the fellow to
                you at all, only it was from his lips that I first heard the
                name of the man who is so indissolubly connected with the
                memories of that time. Moreover, I respected the fellow.
                Yes; I respected his collars, his vast cuffs, his brushed
                hair. His appearance was certainly that of a hairdresser's
                dummy; but in the great demoralization of the land he
                kept up his appearance. That's backbone. His starched
                collars and got-up shirt-fronts were achievements of character.
                He had been out nearly three years; and, later, I
                could not help asking him how he managed to sport such
                linen. He had just the faintest blush, and said modestly,
                'I've been teaching one of the native women about the
                station. It was difficult. She had a distaste for the work.'
                Thus this man had verily accomplished something. And
                he was devoted to his books, which were in apple-pie
                order.
                </p>
                <p>"Everything else in the station was in a muddle—heads,
                things, buildings. Strings of dusty niggers with splay feet
                arrived and departed; a stream of manufactured goods,
                rubbishy cottons, beads, and brass-wire set into the
                <pb n="84"/>
                depths of darkness, and in return came a precious trickle
                of ivory.
                </p>
                <p>"I had to wait in the station for ten days—an eternity.
                I lived in a hut in the yard, but to be out of the chaos I
                would sometimes get into the accountant's office. It was
                built of horizontal planks, and so badly put together that,
                as he bent over his high desk, he was barred from neck
                to heels with narrow strips of sunlight. There was no
                need to open the big shutter to see. It was hot there, too;
                big flies buzzed fiendishly, and did not sting, but stabbed.
                I sat generally on the floor, while, of faultless appearance
                (and even slightly scented), perching on a high stool, he
                wrote, he wrote. Sometimes he stood up for exercise.
                When a truckle-bed with a sick man (some invalid agent
                from upcountry) was put in there, he exhibited a gentle
                annoyance. 'The groans of this sick person,' he said,
                'distract my attention. And without that it is extremely
                difficult to guard against clerical errors in this climate.'
                </p>
                <p>"One day he remarked, without lifting his head, 'In the
                interior you will no doubt meet Mr. Kurtz.' On my asking
                who Mr. Kurtz was, he said he was a first-class agent; and
                seeing my disappointment at this information, he added
                slowly, laying down his pen, 'He is a very remarkable
                person.' Further questions elicited from him that Mr.
                Kurtz was at present in charge of a trading-post, a very
                important one, in the true ivory-country, at 'the very
                bottom of there. Sends in as much ivory as all the others
                put together . . .' He began to write again. The sick man
                was too ill to groan. The flies buzzed in a great peace.
                </p>
                <p>"Suddenly there was a growing murmur of voices and
                a great tramping of feet. A caravan had come in. A violent
                babble of uncouth sounds burst out on the other side of the
                planks. All the carriers were speaking together, and in the
                midst of the uproar the lamentable voice of the chief
                agent was heard 'giving it up' tearfully for the twentieth
                time that day. . . . He rose slowly. 'What a frightful row,'
                he said. He crossed the room gently to look at the sick
                man, and returning, said to me, 'He does not hear.'
                'What! Dead?' I asked, startled. 'No, not yet,' he answered,
                with great composure. Then, alluding with a toss of the
                head to the tumult in the station-yard, 'When one has got
                to make correct entries, one comes to hate those savages<pb n="85"/>—hate
                them to the death.' He remained thoughtful for a
                moment. 'When you see Mr. Kurtz' he went on, 'tell him
                from me that everything here'—he glanced at the deck—'is
                very satisfactory. I don't like to write to him—with
                those messengers of ours you never know who may get
                hold of your letter—at that Central Station.' He stared at
                me for a moment with his mild, bulging eyes. 'Oh, he will
                go far, very far,' he began again. 'He will be a somebody
                in the Administration before long. They, above—the
                Council in Europe, you know—mean him to be.'
                </p>
                <p>"He turned to his work. The noise outside had ceased,
                and presently in going out I stopped at the door. In the
                steady buzz of flies the homeward-bound agent was lying
                finished and insensible; the other, bent over his books, was
                making correct entries of perfectly correct transactions;
                and fifty feet below the doorstep I could see the still tree-tops of the grove of death.
                </p>
                <p>"Next day I left that station at last, with a caravan
                of sixty men, for a two-hundred-mile tramp.
                </p>
                <p>"No use telling you much about that. Paths, paths,
                everywhere; a stamped-in network of paths spreading
                over the empty land, through the long grass, through
                burnt grass, through thickets, down and up chilly ravines,
                up and down stony hills ablaze with heat; and a solitude, a
                solitude, nobody, not a hut. The population had cleared
                out a long time ago. Well, if a lot of mysterious niggers
                armed with all kinds of fearful weapons suddenly took to
                travelling on the road between Deal and Gravesend,
                catching the yokels right and left to carry heavy loads
                for them, I fancy every farm and cottage thereabouts
                would get empty very soon. Only here the dwellings were
                gone, too. Still I passed through several abandoned villages.
                There's something pathetically childish in the ruins
                of grass walls. Day after day, with the stamp and shuffle of
                sixty pair of bare feet behind me, each pair under a
                60-lb. load. Camp, cook, sleep, strike camp, march. Now
                and then a carrier dead in harness, at rest in the long
                grass near the path, with an empty water-gourd and his
                long staff lying by his side. A great silence around and
                above. Perhaps on some quiet night the tremor of far-off drums, sinking, swelling, a tremor vast, faint; a sound
                weird, appealing, suggestive, and wild—and perhaps with
                <pb n="86"/>
                as profound a meaning as the sound of bells in a Christian
                country. Once a white man in an unbuttoned uniform,
                camping on the path with an armed escort of lank
                Zanzibaris, very hospitable and festive—not to say drunk.
                Was looking after the upkeep of the road, he declared.
                Can't say I saw any road or any upkeep, unless the body
                of a middle-aged negro, with a bullet-hole in the forehead,
                upon which I absolutely stumbled three miles farther
                on, may be considered as a permanent improvement.
                I had a white companion, too, not a bad chap, but rather
                too fleshy and with the exasperating habit of fainting
                on the hot hillsides, miles away from the least bit of shade
                and water. Annoying, you know, to hold your own coat
                like a parasol over a man's head while he is coming to.
                I couldn't help asking him once what he meant by coming
                there at all. 'To make money, of course. What do you
                think?' he said, scornfully. Then he got fever, and had to
                be carried in a hammock slung under a pole. As he
                weighed sixteen stone I had no end of rows with the carriers.
                They jibbed, ran away, sneaked off with their loads
                in the night—quite a mutiny. So, one evening, I made a
                speech in English with gestures, not one of which was
                lost to the sixty pairs of eyes before me, and the next
                morning I started the hammock off in front all right. An
                hour afterwards I came upon the whole concern wrecked
                in a bush—man, hammock, groans, blankets, horrors. The
                heavy pole had skinned his poor nose. He was very anxious
                for me to kill somebody, but there wasn't the shadow of a
                carrier near. I remembered the old doctor—'It would be
                interesting for science to watch the mental changes of
                individuals, on the spot.' I felt I was becoming scientifically
                interesting. However, all that is to no purpose. On the
                fifteenth day I came in sight of the big river again, and
                hobbled into the Central Station. It was on a back water
                surrounded by scrub and forest, with a pretty border of
                smelly mud on one side, and on the three others enclosed
                by a crazy fence of rushes. A neglected gap was all the
                gate it had, and the first glance at the place was enough to
                let you see the flabby devil was running that show. White
                men with long staves in their hands appeared languidly
                from amongst the buildings, strolling up to take a look
                at me, and then retired out of sight somewhere. One of
                <pb n="87"/>
                them, a stout, excitable chap with black moustaches,
                informed me with great <ref corresp="volubility" target="_volubility">volubility</ref>
                <note target="_volubility" xml:id="volubility" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Quickness or readiness of movement; mutability. Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note> and many digressions, as
                soon as I told him who I was, that my steamer was
                at the bottom of the river. I was thunderstruck. What,
                how, why? Oh, it was 'all right.' The 'manager himself'
                was there. All quite correct. 'Everybody had behaved
                splendidly! splendidly!' — 'you must,' he said in agitation,
                'go and see the general manager at once. He is waiting!'
                </p>
                <p>"I did not see the real significance of that wreck at
                once. I fancy I see it now, but I am not sure—not at all.
                Certainly the affair was too stupid—when I think of it—to
                be altogether natural. Still . . . But at the moment it
                presented itself simply as a confounded nuisance. The
                steamer was sunk. They had started two days before in a
                sudden hurry up the river with the manager on board, in
                charge of some volunteer skipper, and before they had
                been out three hours they tore the bottom out of her on
                stones, and she sank near the south bank. I asked myself
                what I was to do there, now my boat was lost. As a
                matter of fact, I had plenty to do in fishing my command
                out of the river. I had to set about it the very next day.
                That, and the repairs when I brought the pieces to the
                station, took some months.
                </p>
                <p>"My first interview with the manager was curious. He
                did not ask me to sit down after my twenty-mile walk that
                morning. He was commonplace in complexion, in features,
                in manners, and in voice. He was of middle size and of
                ordinary build. His eyes, of the usual blue, were perhaps
                remarkably cold, and he certainly could make his glance
                fall on one as <ref target="_trenchant" corresp="trenchant">trenchant</ref>
                <note target="_trenchant" xml:id="trenchant" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                One who or that which cuts or severs; a cutter, a divider. Source: Oxford English Dictionary   
                </note> and heavy as an axe. But
                even at these times the rest of his person seemed to disclaim
                the intention. Otherwise there was only an indefinable,
                faint expression of his lips, something stealthy—a smile—not a smile—I
                remember it, but I can't explain.
                It was unconscious, this smile was, though just after he
                had said something it got intensified for an instant. It
                came at the end of his speeches like a seal applied on
                the words to make the meaning of the commonest phrase
                appear absolutely inscrutable. He was a common trader,
                from his youth up employed in these parts—nothing
                more. He was obeyed, yet he inspired neither love nor
                fear, nor even respect. He inspired uneasiness. That
                <pb n="88"/>
                was it! Uneasiness. Not a definite mistrust—just uneasiness—nothing
                more. You have no idea how effective
                such a . . . a. . . . faculty can be. He had no genius for
                organizing, for initiative, or for order even. That was
                evident in such things as the deplorable state of the
                station. He had no learning, and no intelligence. His
                position had come to him—why? Perhaps because he was
                never ill . . . He had served three terms of three years out
                there . . . Because triumphant health in the general rout
                of constitutions is a kind of power in itself. When he went
                home on leave he rioted on a large scale—pompously.
                Jack ashore—with a difference—in externals only. This
                one could gather from his casual talk. He originated nothing,
                he could keep the routine going—that's all. But he
                was great. He was great by this little thing that it was
                impossible to tell what could control such a man. He never
                gave that secret away. Perhaps there was nothing within
                him. Such a suspicion made one pause—for out there there
                were no external checks. Once when various tropical
                diseases had laid low almost every 'agent' in the station, he
                was heard to say, 'Men who come out here should have no
                entrails.' He sealed the utterance with that smile of his, as
                though it had been a door opening into a darkness he had
                in his keeping. You fancied you had seen things—but the
                seal was on. When annoyed at meal-times by the constant
                quarrels of the white men about precedence, he ordered
                an immense round table to be made, for which a special
                house had to be built. This was the station's mess-room.
                Where he sat was the first place—the rest were nowhere.
                One felt this to be his unalterable conviction. He was
                neither civil nor uncivil. He was quiet. He allowed his 'boy'—an
                overfed young negro from the coast—to treat the
                white men, under his very eyes, with provoking insolence.
                </p>
                <p>"He began to speak as soon as he saw me. I had been
                very long on the road. He could not wait. Had to start
                without me. The up-river stations had to be relieved.
                There had been so many delays already that he did not
                know who was dead and who was alive, and how they got
                on—and so on, and so on. He paid no attention to my
                explanations, and, playing with a stick of sealing-wax,
                repeated several times that the situation was 'very grave,
                very grave.' There were rumours that a very important
                <pb n="89"/>
                station was in jeopardy, and its chief, Mr. Kurtz, was
                ill. Hoped it was not true. Mr. Kurtz was . . . I felt weary
                and irritable. Hang Kurtz, I thought. I interrupted him by
                saying I had heard of Mr. Kurtz on the coast. 'Ah! So they
                talk of him down there,' he murmured to himself. Then
                he began again, assuring me Mr. Kurtz was the best agent
                he had, an exceptional man, of the greatest importance to
                the Company; therefore I could understand his anxiety.
                He was, he said, 'very, very uneasy.' Certainly he fidgeted
                on his chair a good deal, exclaimed, 'Ah, Mr. Kurtz!' broke
                the stick of sealing-wax and seemed dumfounded by
                the accident. Next thing he wanted to know 'how long it
                would take to' . . . I interrupted him again. Being
                hungry, you know, and kept on my feet too. I was getting
                savage. 'How can I tell?' I said. 'I haven't even seen the
                wreck yet—some months, no doubt.' All this talk seemed
                to me so futile. 'Some months,' he said. 'Well, let us say
                three months before we can make a start. Yes. That ought
                to do the affair.' I flung out of his hut (he lived all alone
                in a clay hut with a sort of verandah) muttering to myself
                my opinion of him. He was a chattering idiot. Afterwards
                I took it back when it was borne in upon me startlingly
                with what extreme nicety he had estimated the time
                requisite for the 'affair.'
                </p>
                <p>"I went to work the next day, turning, so to speak, my
                back on that station. In that way only it seemed to me I
                could keep my hold on the redeeming facts of life. Still,
                one must look about sometimes; and then I saw this station,
                these men strolling aimlessly about in the sunshine of
                the yard. I asked myself sometimes what it all meant. They
                wandered here and there with their absurd long staves in
                their hands, like a lot of faithless pilgrims bewitched
                inside a rotten fence. The word 'ivory' rang in the air, was
                whispered, was sighed. You would think they were praying
                to it. A taint of imbecile rapacity blew through it all,
                like a whiff from some corpse. By Jove! I've never seen
                anything so unreal in my life. And outside, the silent
                wilderness surrounding this cleared speck on the earth
                struck me as something great and invincible, like evil or
                truth, waiting patiently for the passing away of this
                fantastic invasion.
                </p>
                <p>"Oh, these months! Well, never mind. Various things
                <pb n="90"/>
                happened. One evening a grass shed full of calico, cotton
                prints, beads, and I don't know what else, burst into a
                blaze so suddenly that you would have thought the earth
                had opened to let an avenging fire consume all that trash.
                I was smoking my pipe quietly by my dismantled steamer,
                and saw them all cutting capers in the light, with their
                arms lifted high, when the stout man with moustaches
                came tearing down to the river, a tin pail in his hand,
                assured me that everybody was 'behaving splendidly,
                splendidly,' dipped about a quart of water and tore back
                again. I noticed there was a hole in the bottom of his pail.
                </p>
                <p>"I strolled up. There was no hurry. You see the thing
                had gone off like a box of matches. It had been hopeless
                from the very first. The flame had leaped high, driven
                everybody back, lighted up everything—and collapsed. The
                shed was already a heap of embers glowing fiercely. A
                nigger was being beaten near by. They said he had caused
                the fire in some way; be that as it may, he was screeching
                most horribly. I saw him, later, for several days,
                sitting in a bit of shade looking very sick and trying to
                recover himself; afterwards he arose and went out — and
                the wilderness without a sound took him into its bosom
                again. As I approached the glow from the dark I
                found myself at the back of two men, talking. I heard the
                name of Kurtz pronounced, then the words, 'take ad-vantage of this unfortunate accident.' One of the men was
                the manager. I wished him a good evening. 'Did you ever
                see anything like it—eh? it is incredible,' he said, and
                walked off. The other man remained. He was a first-class
                agent, young, gentlemanly, a bit reserved, with a forked
                little beard and a hooked nose. He was stand-offish with
                the other agents, and they on their side said he was the
                manager's spy upon them. As to me, I had hardly ever
                spoken to him before. We got into talk, and by and by
                we strolled away from the hissing ruins. Then he asked me
                to his room, which was in the main building of the station.
                He struck a match, and I perceived that this young
                aristocrat had not only a silver-mounted dressing-case
                but also a whole candle all to himself. Just at that time
                the manager was the only man supposed to have any right
                to candles. Native mats covered the clay walls; a collection
                of spears, assegais, shields, knives was hung up in trophies.
                <pb n="91"/>
                The business intrusted to this fellow was the making
                of bricks—so I had been informed; but there wasn't a
                fragment of a brick anywhere in the station, and he had
                been there more than a year—waiting. It seems he could
                not make bricks without something, I don't know
                what—straw maybe. Anyway, it could not be found there and
                as it was not likely to be sent from Europe, it did not
                appear clear to me what he was waiting for. An act
                of special creation perhaps. However, they were all
                waiting—all the sixteen or twenty pilgrims of them—for
                something; and upon my word it did not seem an un-congenial occupation, from the way they took it, though
                the only thing that ever came to them was disease—as
                far as I could see. They beguiled the time by back-biting and intriguing against each other in a foolish kind
                of way. There was an air of plotting about that station,
                but nothing came of it, of course. It was as unreal as
                everything else—as the philanthropic pretence of the whole
                concern, as their talk, as their government, as their show
                of work. The only real feeling was a desire to get appointed
                to a trading-post where ivory was to be had, so that they
                could earn percentages. They intrigued and slandered and
                hated each other only on that account—but as to effectually
                lifting a little finger—oh, no. By heavens! there is
                something after all in the world allowing one man to
                steal a horse while another must not look at a halter.
                Steal a horse straight out. Very well. He has done it. Perhaps
                he can ride. But there is a way of looking at a halter
                that would provoke the most charitable of saints into a
                kick.
                </p>
                <p>"I had no idea why he wanted to be sociable, but as
                we chatted in there it suddenly occurred to me the fellow
                was trying to get at something—in fact, pumping me.
                He alluded constantly to Europe, to the people I was supposed
                to know there—putting leading questions as to my
                acquaintances in the <ref corresp="sepulchral" target="_sepulchral">sepulchral</ref>
                <note target="_sepulchral" xml:id="sepulchral" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss"> Of or pertaining to burial or a place of burial.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note> city, and so on. His little
                eyes glittered like mica discs — with curiosity — though he
                tried to keep up a bit of <ref target="_superciliousness" corresp="superciliousness">superciliousness</ref>
                <note target="_superciliousness" xml:id="superciliousness" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">Of a person, or his or her character, expression, demeanour, etc.:
                haughtily contemptuous; having or assuming an air of superiority, indifference, or disdain. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>.
                At first I was astonished, but very soon I became awfully curious to see
                what he would find out from me. I couldn't possibly
                imagine what I had in me to make it worth his while. It
                was very pretty to see how he baffled himself, for in truth
                <pb n="92"/>
                my body was full only of chills, and my head had nothing
                in it but that wretched steamboat business. It was evident
                he took me for a perfectly shameless prevaricator. At last
                he got angry, and, to conceal a movement of furious annoyance,
                he yawned. I rose. Then I noticed a small
                sketch in oils, on a panel, representing a woman, draped
                and blindfolded, carrying a lighted torch. The background
                was sombre—almost black. The movement of the woman
                was stately, and the effect of the torchlight on the face
                was sinister.
                </p>
                <p>"It arrested me, and he stood by civilly, holding an
                empty half-pint champagne bottle (medical comforts)
                with the candle stuck in it. To my question he said Mr.
                Kurtz had painted this — in this very station more than a
                year ago — while waiting for means to go to his trading
                post. 'Tell me, pray,' said I, 'who is this Mr. Kurtz?'
                </p>
                <p>"'The chief of the Inner Station,' he answered in a
                short tone, looking away. 'Much obliged,' I said, laughing.
                'And you are the brickmaker of the Central Station.
                Every one knows that.' He was silent for a while. 'He
                is a prodigy,' he said at last. 'He is an emissary of pity and
                science and progress, and devil knows what else. We
                want,' he began to declaim suddenly, 'for the guidance of
                the cause intrusted to us by Europe, so to speak, higher
                intelligence, wide sympathies, a singleness of purpose.'
                'Who says that?' I asked. 'Lots of them,' he replied. 'Some
                even write that; and so <hi rend="italic">he</hi> comes here, a special being, as
                you ought to know.' 'Why ought I to know?' I interrupted,
                really surprised. He paid no attention. 'Yes. To-day he is chief of the best station, next year he will be
                assistant-manager, two years more and . . . but I dare-say you know what he will be in two years' time. You
                are of the new gang—the gang of virtue. The same
                people who sent him specially also recommended you.
                Oh, don't say no. I've my own eyes to trust.' Light
                dawned upon me. My dear aunt's influential acquaintances
                were producing an unexpected effect upon that
                young man. I nearly burst into a laugh. 'Do you read the
                Company's confidential correspondence?' I asked. He
                hadn't a word to say. It was great fun. 'When Mr. Kurtz,'
                I continued, severely, 'is General Manager, you won't
                have the opportunity.'
                <pb n="93"/>
                </p>
                <p>"He blew the candle out suddenly, and we went outside.
                The moon had risen. Black figures strolled about
                listlessly, pouring water on the glow, whence proceeded a
                sound of hissing; steam ascended in the moonlight, the
                beaten nigger groaned somewhere. 'What a row the brute
                makes!' said the <ref target="_indefatigable" corresp="indefatigable">indefatigable</ref>
                <note target="_indefatigable" xml:id="indefatigable" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">Incapable of being wearied; that cannot be tired out; unwearied, untiring, unremitting in labour or effort.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note> man with the moustaches,
                appearing near us. 'Serve him right. Transgression—punishment—bang! Pitiless, pitiless. That's the only way.
                This will prevent all conflagrations for the future. I was just
                telling the manager . . .' He noticed my companion, and
                became crestfallen all at once. 'Not in bed yet,' he said,
                with a kind of servile heartiness; 'it's so natural. Ha!
                Danger—agitation.' He vanished. I went on to the river-side, and the other followed me. I heard a scathing murmur
                at my ear, 'Heap of muffs—go to.' The pilgrims
                could be seen in knots gesticulating, discussing. Several
                had still their staves in their hands. I verily believe they
                took these sticks to bed with them. Beyond the fence the
                forest stood up spectrally in the moonlight, and through
                that dim stir, through the faint sounds of that lamentable
                courtyard, the silence of the land went home to one's
                very heart—its mystery, its greatness, the amazing reality
                of its concealed life. The hurt nigger moaned feebly
                somewhere near by, and then fetched a deep sigh that made me
                mend my pace away from there. I felt a hand introducing
                itself under my arm. 'My dear sir,' said the fellow, 'I don't
                want to be misunderstood, and especially by you, who
                will see Mr. Kurtz long before I can have that pleasure.
                I wouldn't like him to get a false idea of my disposition. . .
                .'
                </p>
                <p>"I let him run on, this papier-mache <ref target="_Mephistopheles" corresp="Mephistopheles">Mephistopheles</ref>
                <note target="_Mephistopheles" xml:id="Mephistopheles" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">The name of the evil spirit to whom (in the German legend) Faust sold his soul.
                A fiendish person, esp. one who traps another into adopting a disastrous or destructive course of action; a tempter. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>,
                and it seemed to me that if I tried I could poke my fore-finger through him, and would find nothing inside but a
                little loose dirt, maybe. He, don't you see, had been
                planning to be assistant-manager by and by under the present
                man, and I could see that the coming of that Kurtz had
                upset them both not a little. He talked precipitately, and I
                did not try to stop him. I had my shoulders against the
                wreck of my steamer, hauled up on the slope like a carcass
                of some big river animal. The smell of mud, of
                primeval mud, by Jove! was in my nostrils, the high stillness
                of primeval forest was before my eyes; there were
                <pb n="94"/>
                shiny patches on the black creek. The moon had spread
                over everything a thin layer of silver—over the rank
                grass, over the mud, upon the wall of matted vegetation
                standing higher than the wall of a temple, over the great
                river I could see through a sombre gap glittering, glittering,
                as it flowed broadly by without a murmur. All this
                was great, expectant, mute, while the man jabbered about
                himself. I wondered whether the stillness on the face of
                the immensity looking at us two were meant as an appeal
                or as a menace. What were we who had strayed in here?
                Could we handle that dumb thing, or would it handle us?
                I felt how big, how confoundedly big, was that thing that
                couldn't talk, and perhaps was deaf as well. What was in
                there? I could see a little ivory coming out from there,
                and I had heard Mr. Kurtz was in there. I had heard
                enough about it, too—God knows! Yet somehow it didn't
                bring any image with it—no more than if I had been told
                an angel or a fiend was in there. I believed it in the same
                way one of you might believe there are inhabitants in the
                planet Mars. I knew once a Scotch sailmaker who was
                certain, dead sure, there were people in Mars. If you
                asked him for some idea how they looked and behaved,
                he would get shy and mutter something about 'walking
                on all-fours.' If you as much as smiled, he would—though
                a man of sixty—offer to fight you. I would not have gone
                so far as to fight for Kurtz, but I went for him near
                enough to a lie. You know I hate, detest, and can't bear a
                lie, not because I am straighter than the rest of us, but
                simply because it appalls me. There is a taint of death, a
                flavour of mortality in lies—which is exactly what I hate
                and detest in the world—what I want to forget. It makes
                me miserable and sick, like biting something rotten would
                do. Temperament, I suppose. Well, I went near enough
                to it by letting the young fool there believe anything he
                liked to imagine as to my influence in Europe. I became
                in an instant as much of a pretence as the rest of the
                bewitched pilgrims. This simply because I had a notion it
                somehow would be of help to that Kurtz whom at the
                time I did not see—you understand. He was just a word
                for me. I did not see the man in the name any more
                than you do. Do you see him? Do you see the story? Do
                you see anything? It seems to me I am trying to tell you
                <pb n="95"/>
                a dream—making a vain attempt, because no relation of
                a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling
                of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment in a tremor
                of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the
                incredible which is of the very essence of dreams. . . ."
                </p>
                <p>He was silent for a while.
                </p>
                <p>". . . No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey
                the
                life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence—that
                which makes its truth, its meaning—its subtle and penetrating
                essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream—alone. . . ."
                </p>
                <p>He paused again as if reflecting, then added:
                </p>
                <p>"Of course in this you fellows see more than I could
                then. You see me, whom you know. . . ."
                </p>
                <p>It had become so pitch dark that we listeners could
                hardly see one another. For a long time already he, sitting
                apart, had been no more to us than a voice. There
                was not a word from anybody. The others might have
                been asleep, but I was awake. I listened, I listened on
                the watch for the sentence, for the word, that would give
                me the clue to the faint uneasiness inspired by this narrative
                that seemed to shape itself without human lips in
                the heavy night-air of the river.
                </p>
                <p>". . . Yes—I let him run on," Marlow began again, "and
                think what he pleased about the powers that were behind
                me. I did! And there was nothing behind me! There was
                nothing but that wretched, old, mangled steamboat I
                was leaning against, while he talked fluently about 'the
                necessity for every man to get on.' 'And when one comes
                out here, you conceive, it is not to gaze at the moon.' Mr.
                Kurtz was a 'universal genius,' but even a genius would
                find it easier to work with 'adequate tools—intelligent
                men.' He did not make bricks—why, there was a physical
                impossibility in the way—as I was well aware; and if he
                did secretarial work for the manager, it was because 'no
                sensible man rejects wantonly the confidence of his
                superiors.' Did I see it? I saw it. What more did I want?
                What I really wanted was rivets, by heaven! Rivets. To
                get on with the work—to stop the hole. Rivets I wanted.
                There were cases of them down at the coast—cases—piled
                up—burst—split! You kicked a loose rivet at every
                second step in that station-yard on the hillside. Rivets
                <pb n="96"/>
                had rolled into the grove of death. You could fill your
                pockets with rivets for the trouble of stooping down—and
                there wasn't one rivet to be found where it was
                wanted. We had plates that would do, but nothing to
                fasten them with. And every week the messenger, a long
                negro, letter-bag on shoulder and staff in hand, left our
                station for the coast. And several times a week a coast
                caravan came in with trade goods—ghastly glazed calico
                that made you shudder only to look at it, glass beads
                value about a penny a quart, confounded spotted cotton
                handkerchiefs. And no rivets. Three carriers could have
                brought all that was wanted to set that steamboat afloat.
                </p>
                <p>"He was becoming confidential now, but I fancy my
                unresponsive attitude must have exasperated him at last,
                for he judged it necessary to inform me he feared neither
                God nor devil, let alone any mere man. I said I could see
                that very well, but what I wanted was a certain quantity
                of rivets—and rivets were what really Mr. Kurtz
                wanted, if he had only known it. Now letters went to the
                coast every week. . . . 'My dear sir,' he cried, 'I write
                from dictation.' I demanded rivets. There was a way—for
                an intelligent man. He changed his manner; became very
                cold, and suddenly began to talk about a hippopotamus;
                wondered whether sleeping on board the steamer (I stuck
                to my salvage night and day) I wasn't disturbed. There
                was an old hippo that had the bad habit of getting out
                on the bank and roaming at night over the station
                grounds. The pilgrims used to turn out in a body and
                empty every rifle they could lay hands on at him. Some
                even had sat up o' nights for him. All this energy was
                wasted, though. 'That animal has a charmed life,' he said;
                'but you can say this only of brutes in this country. No
                man—you apprehend me?—no man here bears a charmed
                life.' He stood there for a moment in the moonlight with
                his delicate hooked nose set a little askew, and his mica
                eyes glittering without a wink, then, with a curt Good-night, he strode off. I could see he was disturbed and
                considerably puzzled, which made me feel more hopeful
                than I had been for days. It was a great comfort to turn
                from that chap to my influential friend, the battered,
                twisted, ruined, tin-pot steamboat. I clambered on board.
                She rang under my feet like an empty Huntley &amp; Palmer
                <pb n="97"/>
                biscuit-tin kicked along a gutter; she was nothing so solid
                in make, and rather less pretty in shape, but I had expended
                enough hard work on her to make me love her.
                No influential friend would have served me better. She
                had given me a chance to come out a bit—to find out
                what I could do. No, I don't like work. I had rather laze
                about and think of all the fine things that can be done. I
                don't like work—no man does—but I like what is in the
                work—the chance to find yourself. Your own reality—for
                yourself, not for others—what no other man can ever
                know. They can only see the mere show, and never can
                tell what it really means.
                </p>
                <p>"I was not surprised to see somebody sitting
                <ref corresp="aft" target="_aft">aft</ref>
                <note target="_aft" xml:id="aft" resp="editors.xml" type="gloss">Behind, in the rear; from behind. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>,
                on the deck, with his legs dangling over the mud. You see I
                rather chummed with the few mechanics there were in
                that station, whom the other pilgrims naturally despised—on
                account of their imperfect manners, I suppose. This
                was the foreman—a boiler-maker by trade—a good
                worker. He was a lank, bony, yellow-faced man, with big
                intense eyes. His aspect was worried, and his head was
                as bald as the palm of my hand; but his hair in falling
                seemed to have stuck to his chin, and had prospered in
                the new locality, for his beard hung down to his waist.
                He was a widower with six young children (he had left
                them in charge of a sister of his to come out there), and
                the passion of his life was pigeon-flying. He was an
                enthusiast and a connoisseur. He would rave about pigeons.
                After work hours he used sometimes to come over from
                his hut for a talk about his children and his pigeons; at
                work, when he had to crawl in the mud under the bottom
                of the steamboat, he would tie up that beard of his in a
                kind of white serviette he brought for the purpose. It had
                loops to go over his ears. In the evening he could be seen
                squatted on the bank rinsing that wrapper in the creek
                with great care, then spreading it solemnly on a bush to
                dry.
                </p>
                <p>"I slapped him on the back and shouted, 'We shall
                have rivets!' He scrambled to his feet exclaiming, 'No!
                Rivets!' as though he couldn't believe his ears. Then in a
                low voice, 'You . . . eh?' I don't know why we behaved
                like lunatics. I put my finger to the side of my nose and
                nodded mysteriously. 'Good for you!' he cried, snapped
                <pb n="98"/>
                his fingers above his head, lifting one foot. I tried a jig.
                We capered on the iron deck. A frightful clatter came out
                of that hulk, and the virgin forest on the other bank of
                the creek sent it back in a thundering roll upon the sleeping
                station. It must have made some of the pilgrims sit
                up in their hovels. A dark figure obscured the lighted
                doorway of the manager's hut, vanished, then, a second or
                so after, the doorway itself vanished, too. We stopped,
                and the silence driven away by the stamping of our feet
                flowed back again from the recesses of the land. The
                great wall of vegetation, an exuberant and entangled
                mass of trunks, branches, leaves, boughs, festoons,
                motionless in the moonlight, was like a rioting invasion of
                soundless life, a rolling wave of plants, piled up, crested,
                ready to topple over the creek, to sweep every little man
                of us out of his little existence. And it moved not. A
                deadened burst of mighty splashes and snorts reached us
                from afar, as though an icthyosaurus had been taking a
                bath of glitter in the great river. 'After all,' said the
                boiler-maker in a reasonable tone, 'why shouldn't we get
                the rivets?' Why not, indeed! I did not know of any
                reason why we shouldn't. 'They'll come in three weeks,'
                I said confidently.
                </p>
                <p>"But they didn't. Instead of rivets there came an
                invasion,
                an infliction, a visitation. It came in sections during
                the next three weeks, each section headed by a donkey
                carrying a white man in new clothes and tan shoes, bowing
                from that elevation right and left to the impressed
                pilgrims. A quarrelsome band of footsore sulky niggers
                trod on the heels of the donkey; a lot of tents, camp-stools, tin boxes, white cases, brown bales would be shot
                down in the court-yard, and the air of mystery would
                deepen a little over the muddle of the station. Five such
                instalments came, with their absurd air of disorderly flight
                with the loot of innumerable outfit shops and provision
                stores, that, one would think, they were lugging, after a
                raid, into the wilderness for equitable division. It was an
                inextricable mess of things decent in themselves but that
                human folly made look like the spoils of thieving.
                </p>
                <p>"This devoted band called itself the Eldorado Exploring
                Expedition, and I believe they were sworn to secrecy.
                Their talk, however, was the talk of sordid buccaneers: it
                <pb n="99"/>
                was reckless without hardihood, greedy without audacity,
                and cruel without courage; there was not an atom of fore-sight or of serious intention in the whole batch of them,
                and they did not seem aware these things are wanted for
                the work of the world. To tear treasure out of the bowels
                of the land was their desire, with no more moral purpose
                at the back of it than there is in burglars breaking into a
                safe. Who paid the expenses of the noble enterprise I
                don't know; but the uncle of our manager was leader of
                that lot.
                </p>
                <p>"In exterior he resembled a butcher in a poor
                neighbourhood, and his eyes had a look of sleepy cunning. He
                carried his fat paunch with <ref target="_ostentation" corresp="ostentation">ostentation</ref>
                <note target="_ostentation" xml:id="ostentation" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                Display intended to attract notice or admiration; pretentious, vainglorious, or vulgar show; pointed or exaggerated exhibition, showing off.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>on his short legs,
                and during the time his gang infested the station spoke
                to no one but his nephew. You could see these two roaming
                about all day long with their heads close together in
                an everlasting <ref target="_confab" corresp="confab">confab</ref>
                <note target="_confab" xml:id="confab" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                A talk together; familiar talk. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>.
                </p>
                <p>"I had given up worrying myself about the rivets. One's
                capacity for that kind of folly is more limited than you
                would suppose. I said Hang!—and let things slide. I had
                plenty of time for meditation, and now and then I would
                give some thought to Kurtz. I wasn't very interested in
                him. No. Still, I was curious to see whether this man,
                who had come out equipped with moral ideas of some
                sort, would climb to the top after all and how he would
                set about his work when there."
                 </p>
                <head type="sub">II</head>
                <p>"One evening as I was lying flat on the deck of my
                steamboat, I heard voices approaching—and there were
                the nephew and the uncle strolling along the bank. I
                laid my head on my arm again, and had nearly lost myself
                in a doze, when somebody said in my ear, as it
                were: 'I am as harmless as a little child, but I don't like
                to be dictated to. Am I the manager—or am I not? I
                was ordered to send him there. It's incredible.' . . . I
                <pb n="100"/>
                became aware that the two were standing on the shore
                alongside the forepart of the steamboat, just below my
                head. I did not move; it did not occur to me to move: I
                was sleepy. 'It <hi rend="italic">is</hi> unpleasant,' grunted the uncle. 'He has
                asked the Administration to be sent there,' said the other,
                'with the idea of showing what he could do; and I was
                instructed accordingly. Look at the influence that man
                must have. Is it not frightful?' They both agreed it was
                frightful, then made several bizarre remarks: 'Make rain
                and fine weather—one man—the Council—by the nose'—bits
                of absurd sentences that got the better of my
                drowsiness, so that I had pretty near the whole of my
                wits about me when the uncle said, 'The climate may do
                away with this difficulty for you. Is he alone there?'
                'Yes,' answered the manager; 'he sent his assistant down
                the river with a note to me in these terms: "Clear this
                poor devil out of the country, and don't bother sending
                more of that sort. I had rather be alone than have the
                kind of men you can dispose of with me." It was more
                than a year ago. Can you imagine such impudence!' 'Anything
                since then?' asked the other hoarsely. 'Ivory,' jerked
                the nephew; 'lots of it—prime sort—lots—most annoying,
                from him.' 'And with that?' questioned the heavy
                rumble. 'Invoice,' was the reply fired out, so to speak.
                Then silence. They had been talking about Kurtz.
                </p>
                <p>"I was broad awake by this time, but, lying perfectly at
                ease, remained still, having no inducement to change my
                position. 'How did that ivory come all this way?' growled
                the elder man, who seemed very vexed. The other explained
                that it had come with a fleet of canoes in charge
                of an English half-caste clerk Kurtz had with him; that
                Kurtz had apparently intended to return himself, the station
                being by that time bare of goods and stores, but
                after coming three hundred miles, had suddenly decided
                to go back, which he started to do alone in a small dugout
                with four paddlers, leaving the half-caste to continue
                down the river with the ivory. The two fellows there
                seemed astounded at anybody attempting such a thing.
                They were at a loss for an adequate motive. As to me, I
                seemed to see Kurtz for the first time. It was a distinct
                glimpse: the dugout, four paddling savages, and the lone
                white man turning his back suddenly on the headquarters,
                <pb n="101"/>
                on relief, on thoughts of home—perhaps; setting his face
                towards the depths of the wilderness, towards his empty
                and desolate station. I did not know the motive. Perhaps
                he was just simply a fine fellow who stuck to his work
                for its own sake. His name, you understand, had not been
                pronounced once. He was 'that man.' The half-caste, who,
                as far as I could see, had conducted a difficult trip with
                great prudence and pluck, was invariably alluded to as
                'that scoundrel.' The 'scoundrel' had reported that the
                'man' had been very ill—had recovered imperfectly. . . .
                The two below me moved away then a few paces, and
                strolled back and forth at some little distance. I heard:
                'Military post—doctor—two hundred miles—quite alone
                now—unavoidable delays—nine months—no news—strange
                rumours.' They approached again, just as the
                manager was saying, 'No one, as far as I know, unless a
                species of wandering trader—a pestilential fellow, snapping
                ivory from the natives.' Who was it they were talking
                about now? I gathered in snatches that this was some
                man supposed to be in Kurtz's district, and of whom the
                manager did not approve. 'We will not be free from unfair
                competition till one of these fellows is hanged for an
                example,' he said. 'Certainly,' grunted the other; 'get him
                hanged! Why not? Anything—anything can be done in
                this country. That's what I say; nobody here, you understand,
                <hi rend="italic">here</hi>, can endanger your position. And why? You
                stand the climate—you outlast them all. The danger is in
                Europe; but there before I left I took care to—' They
                moved off and whispered, then their voices rose again.
                'The extraordinary series of delays is not my fault. I did
                my best.' The fat man sighed. 'Very sad.' 'And the
                pestiferous absurdity of his talk,' continued the other; 'he
                bothered me enough when he was here. "Each station
                should be like a beacon on the road towards better
                things, a centre for trade of course, but also for
                humanizing, improving, instructing." Conceive you—that ass!
                And he wants to be manager! No, it's—' Here he got
                choked by excessive indignation, and I lifted my head
                the least bit. I was surprised to see how near they were—right
                under me. I could have spat upon their hats. They
                were looking on the ground, absorbed in thought. The
                manager was switching his leg with a slender twig: his
                <pb n="102"/>
                sagacious relative lifted his head. 'You have been well
                since you came out this time?' he asked. The other gave a
                start. 'Who? I? Oh! Like a charm—like a charm. But
                the rest—oh, my goodness! All sick. They die so quick,
                too, that I haven't the time to send them out of the
                country—it's incredible!' 'Hm'm. Just so,' grunted the
                uncle. 'Ah! my boy, trust to this—I say, trust to this.' I
                saw him extend his short flipper of an arm for a gesture
                that took in the forest, the creek, the mud, the river—seemed
                to beckon with a dishonouring flourish before the
                sunlit face of the land a treacherous appeal to the lurking
                death, to the hidden evil, to the profound darkness of its
                heart. It was so startling that I leaped to my feet and
                looked back at the edge of the forest, as though I had
                expected an answer of some sort to that black display of
                confidence. You know the foolish notions that come to
                one sometimes. The high stillness confronted these two
                figures with its ominous patience, waiting for the passing
                away of a fantastic invasion.
                </p>
                <p>"They swore aloud together—out of sheer fright, I
                believe—then pretending not to know anything of my
                existence, turned back to the station. The sun was low; and
                leaning forward side by side, they seemed to be tugging
                painfully uphill their two ridiculous shadows of unequal
                length, that trailed behind them slowly over the tall grass
                without bending a single blade.
                </p>
                <p>"In a few days the Eldorado Expedition went into the
                patient wilderness, that closed upon it as the sea closes
                over a diver. Long afterwards the news came that all
                the donkeys were dead. I know nothing as to the fate
                of the less valuable animals. They, no doubt, like the
                rest of us, found what they deserved. I did not inquire. I
                was then rather excited at the prospect of meeting Kurtz
                very soon. When I say very soon I mean it comparatively.
                It was just two months from the day we left the creek
                when we came to the bank below Kurtz's station.
                </p>
                <p>"Going up that river was like traveling back to the
                earliest beginnings of the world, when vegetation rioted
                on the earth and the big trees were kings. An empty
                stream, a great silence, an impenetrable forest. The air
                was warm, thick, heavy, sluggish. There was no joy in
                the brilliance of sunshine. The long stretches of the water-<pb n="103"/>
                way ran on, deserted, into the gloom of over-shadowed
                distances. On silvery sand-banks hippos and alligators
                sunned themselves side by side. The broadening waters
                flowed through a mob of wooded islands; you lost your
                way on that river as you would in a desert, and butted
                all day long against shoals, trying to find the channel, till
                you thought yourself bewitched and cut off for ever from
                everything you had known once—somewhere—far away—in
                another existence perhaps. There were moments
                when one's past came back to one, as it will sometimes
                when you have not a moment to spare for yourself; but it
                came in the shape of an unrestful and noisy dream, remembered
                with wonder amongst the overwhelming realities of
                this strange world of plants, and water, and
                silence. And this stillness of life did not in the least
                resemble a peace. It was the stillness of an implacable
                force brooding over an <ref target="_inscrutable" corresp="inscrutable">inscrutable</ref>
                <note xml:id="inscrutable" target="_inscrutable" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                That cannot be searched into or found out by searching; impenetrable or unfathomable to investigation; quite unintelligible, entirely mysterious.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note> intention. It looked at
                you with a vengeful aspect. I got used to it afterwards; I
                did not see it any more; I had no time. I had to keep
                guessing at the channel; I had to discern, mostly by
                inspiration, the signs of hidden banks; I watched for sunken
                stones; I was learning to clap my teeth smartly before
                my heart flew out, when I shaved by a fluke some infernal
                sly old snag that would have ripped the life out
                of the tin-pot steamboat and drowned all the pilgrims; I
                had to keep a lookout for the signs of dead wood we could
                cut up in the night for next day's steaming. When
                you have to attend to things of that sort, to the mere
                incidents of the surface, the reality—the reality, I tell you—fades.
                The inner truth is hidden—luckily, luckily. But
                I felt it all the same; I felt often its mysterious stillness
                watching me at my monkey tricks, just as it watches you
                fellows performing on your respective tight-ropes for—what
                is it? half-a-crown a tumble—"
                </p>
                <p>"Try to be civil, Marlow," growled a voice, and I knew
                there was at least one listener awake besides myself.
                </p>
                <p>"I beg your pardon. I forgot the heartache which makes
                up the rest of the price. And indeed what does the price
                matter, if the trick be well done? You do your tricks
                very well. And I didn't do badly either, since I managed
                not to sink that steamboat on my first trip. It's a wonder
                to me yet. Imagine a blindfolded man set to drive a van
                <pb n="104"/>
                over a bad road. I sweated and shivered over that business
                considerably, I can tell you. After all, for a seaman,
                to scrape the bottom of the thing that's supposed
                to float all the time under his care is the unpardonable
                sin. No one may know of it, but you never forget the
                thump—eh? A blow on the very heart. You remember it,
                you dream of it, you wake up at night and think of
                it—years after—and go hot and cold all over. I don't
                pretend to say that steamboat floated all the time. More
                than once she had to wade for a bit, with twenty cannibals
                splashing around and pushing. We had enlisted some
                of these chaps on the way for a crew. Fine
                fellows—cannibals—in their place. They were men one could
                work with, and I am grateful to them. And, after all, they
                did not eat each other before my face: they had brought
                along a provision of hippo-meat which went rotten, and
                made the mystery of the wilderness stink in my nostrils.
                Phoo! I can sniff it now. I had the manager on board
                and three or four pilgrims with their staves—all
                complete. Sometimes we came upon a station close by the
                bank, clinging to the skirts of the unknown, and the white
                men rushing out of a tumble-down hovel, with great
                gestures of joy and surprise and welcome, seemed very
                strange—had the appearance of being held there captive
                by a spell. The word ivory would ring in the air for a
                while—and on we went again into the silence, along
                empty reaches, round the still bends, between the high
                walls of our winding way, reverberating in hollow claps
                the ponderous beat of the stern-wheel. Trees, trees,
                millions of trees, massive, immense, running up high; and
                at their foot, hugging the bank against the stream, crept
                the little begrimed steamboat, like a sluggish beetle
                crawling on the floor of a lofty portico. It made you feel
                very small, very lost, and yet it was not altogether
                depressing,
                that feeling. After all, if you were small, the grimy
                beetle crawled on—which was just what you wanted it
                to do. Where the pilgrims imagined it crawled to I don't
                know. To some place where they expected to get something.
                I bet! For me it crawled towards Kurtz—exclusively;
                but when the steam-pipes started leaking we
                crawled very slow. The reaches opened before us and
                closed behind, as if the forest had stepped leisurely
                <pb n="105"/>
                across the water to bar the way for our return. We
                penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness.
                It was very quiet there. At night sometimes the roll of
                drums behind the curtain of trees would run up the river
                and remain sustained faintly, as if hovering in the air
                high over our heads, till the first break of day. Whether
                it meant war, peace, or prayer we could not tell. The
                dawns were heralded by the descent of a chill stillness;
                the wood-cutters slept, their fires burned low; the snapping
                of a twig would make you start. We were wanderers
                on a prehistoric earth, on an earth that wore the aspect
                of an unknown planet. We could have fancied ourselves
                the first of men taking possession of an accursed inheritance,
                to be subdued at the cost of profound anguish and
                of excessive toil. But suddenly, as we struggled round
                a bend, there would be a glimpse of rush walls, of peaked
                grass-roofs, a burst of yells, a whirl of black limbs, a
                mass of hands clapping, of feet stamping, of bodies swaying,
                of eyes rolling, under the droop of heavy and motionless
                foliage. The steamer toiled along slowly on the
                edge of a black and incomprehensible frenzy. The pre-historic man was cursing us, praying to us, welcoming
                us—who could tell? We were cut off from the comprehension
                of our surroundings; we glided past like phantoms,
                wondering and secretly appalled, as sane men would
                be before an enthusiastic outbreak in a madhouse. We
                could not understand because we were too far and could
                not remember because we were travelling in the night
                of first ages, of those ages that are gone, leaving hardly
                a sign—and no memories.
                </p>
                <p>"The earth seemed unearthly. We are accustomed to
                look upon the shackled form of a conquered monster,
                but there—there you could look at a thing monstrous
                and free. It was unearthly, and the men were—No,
                they were not inhuman. Well, you know, that was the
                worst of it—this suspicion of their not being inhuman.
                It would come slowly to one. They howled and leaped,
                and spun, and made horrid faces; but what thrilled you was
                just the thought of their humanity—like yours—the
                thought of your remote kinship with this wild and passionate
                uproar. Ugly. Yes, it was ugly enough; but if you
                were man enough you would admit to yourself that there
                <pb n="106"/>
                was in you just the faintest trace of a response to the
                terrible frankness of that noise, a dim suspicion of there
                being a meaning in it which you—you so remote from the
                night of first ages—could comprehend. And why not? The
                mind of man is capable of anything—because everything
                is in it, all the past as well as all the future. What
                was there after all? Joy, fear, sorrow, devotion, valour,
                rage—who can tell?—but truth—truth stripped of its
                cloak of time. Let the fool gape and shudder—the man
                knows, and can look on without a wink. But he must at
                least be as much of a man as these on the shore. He must
                meet that truth with his own true stuff—with his own in-born strength. Principles won't do. Acquisitions, clothes,
                pretty rags—rags that would fly off at the first good
                shake. No; you want a deliberate belief. An appeal to me
                in this fiendish row—is there? Very well; I hear; I
                admit, but I have a voice, too, and for good or evil mine
                is the speech that cannot be silenced. Of course, a fool,
                what with sheer fright and fine sentiments, is always safe.
                Who's that grunting? You wonder I didn't go ashore for
                a howl and a dance? Well, no—I didn't. Fine sentiments,
                you say? Fine sentiments, be hanged! I had no time. I
                had to mess about with white-lead and strips of woolen
                blanket helping to put bandages on those leaky steam-pipes—I tell you. I had to watch the steering, and
                circumvent those snags, and get the tin-pot along by hook or
                by crook. There was surface-truth enough in these things
                to save a wiser man. And between whiles I had to look
                after the savage who was fireman. He was an improved
                specimen; he could fire up a vertical boiler. He was
                there below me, and, upon my word, to look at him was
                as edifying as seeing a dog in a parody of breeches and a
                feather hat, walking on his hind-legs. A few months of
                training had done for that really fine chap. He squinted
                at the steam-gauge and at the water-gauge with an
                evident effort of <ref target="_intrepidity" corresp="intrepidity">intrepidity</ref>
                <note target="_intrepidity" xml:id="intrepidity" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                Fearlessness; firmness of mind in the presence of danger; courage, boldness. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>—
                and he had filed teeth, too,
                the poor devil, and the wool of his <ref target="_pate" corresp="pate">pate</ref>
                <note target="_pate" xml:id="pate" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                The head, the skull; spec. the crown of the head Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>shaved into queer
                patterns, and three ornamental scars on each of his cheeks.
                He ought to have been clapping his hands and stamping
                his feet on the bank, instead of which he was hard at
                work, a thrall to strange witchcraft, full of improving
                knowledge. He was useful because he had been
                <pb n="107"/>
                instructed; and what he knew was this—that should the
                water in that transparent thing disappear, the evil spirit
                inside the boiler would get angry through the greatness of
                his thirst, and take a terrible vengeance. So he sweated
                and fired up and watched the glass fearfully (with an
                impromptu charm, made of rags, tied to his arm, and a
                piece of polished bone, as big as a watch, stuck flatways
                through his lower lip), while the wooded banks slipped
                past us slowly, the short noise was left behind, the
                interminable miles of silence—and we crept on, towards
                Kurtz. But the snags were thick, the water was treacherous
                and shallow, the boiler seemed indeed to have a sulky
                devil in it, and thus neither that fireman nor I had any
                time to peer into our creepy thoughts.
                </p>
                <p>"Some fifty miles below the Inner Station we came
                upon a hut of reeds, an inclined and melancholy pole,
                with the unrecognizable tatters of what had been a flag
                of some sort flying from it, and a neatly stacked wood-pile. This was unexpected. We came to the bank, and on
                the stack of firewood found a flat piece of board with
                some faded pencil-writing on it. When deciphered it said:
                'Wood for you. Hurry up. Approach cautiously.' There
                was a signature, but it was illegible—not Kurtz—a much
                longer word. 'Hurry up.' Where? Up the river? 'Approach
                cautiously.' We had not done so. But the warning could
                not have been meant for the place where it could be only
                found after approach. Something was wrong above. But
                what—and how much? That was the question. We commented
                adversely upon the imbecility of that telegraphic
                style. The bush around said nothing, and would not let
                us look very far, either. A torn curtain of red twill hung in
                the doorway of the hut, and flapped sadly in our faces. The
                dwelling was dismantled; but we could see a white man
                had lived there not very long ago. There remained a
                rude table — a plank on two posts; a heap of rubbish reposed
                in a dark corner, and by the door I picked up a
                book. It had lost its covers, and the pages had been
                thumbed into a state of extremely dirty softness; but the
                back had been lovingly stitched afresh with white cotton
                thread, which looked clean yet. It was an extraordinary
                find. Its title was, <hi rend="italic">An Inquiry into some Points of Seamanship</hi>,
                by a man Towser, Towson — some such name —
                <pb n="108"/>
                Master in his Majesty's Navy. The matter looked dreary
                reading enough, with illustrative diagrams and repulsive
                tables of figures, and the copy was sixty years old. I
                handled this amazing antiquity with the greatest possible
                tenderness, lest it should dissolve in my hands. Within,
                Towson or Towser was inquiring earnestly into the breaking
                strain of ships' chains and tackle, and other such
                matters. Not a very enthralling book; but at the first
                glance you could see there a singleness of intention, an
                honest concern for the right way of going to work, which
                made these humble pages, thought out so many years
                ago, luminous with another than a professional light. The
                simple old sailor, with his talk of chains and purchases,
                made me forget the jungle and the pilgrims in a delicious
                sensation of having come upon something unmistakably
                real. Such a book being there was wonderful
                enough; but still more astounding were the notes pencilled
                in the margin, and plainly referring to the text. I
                couldn't believe my eyes! They were in cipher! Yes, it
                looked like cipher. Fancy a man lugging with him a book
                of that description into this nowhere and studying it—and
                making notes—in cipher at that! It was an extravagant
                mystery.
                </p>
                <p>"I had been dimly aware for some time of a worrying
                noise, and when I lifted my eyes I saw the wood-pile was
                gone, and the manager, aided by all the pilgrims, was
                shouting at me from the riverside. I slipped the book into
                my pocket. I assure you to leave off reading was like
                tearing myself away from the shelter of an old and solid
                friendship.
                </p>
                <p>"I started the lame engine ahead. 'It must be this
                miserable trader-this intruder,' exclaimed the manager,
                looking back malevolently at the place we had left. 'He must
                be English,' I said. 'It will not save him from getting
                into trouble if he is not careful,' muttered the manager
                darkly. I observed with assumed innocence that no man
                was safe from trouble in this world.
                </p>
                <p>"The current was more rapid now, the steamer seemed
                at her last gasp, the stern-wheel flopped languidly, and I
                caught myself listening on tiptoe for the next beat of the
                boat, for in sober truth I expected the wretched thing to
                give up every moment. It was like watching the last flickers
                <pb n="109"/>
                of a life. But still we crawled. Sometimes I would pick
                out a tree a little way ahead to measure our progress towards
                Kurtz by, but I lost it invariably before we got
                abreast. To keep the eyes so long on one thing was too
                much for human patience. The manager displayed a
                beautiful resignation. I fretted and fumed and took to
                arguing with myself whether or no I would talk openly
                with Kurtz; but before I could come to any conclusion
                it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed
                any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it
                matter what any one knew or ignored? What did it matter
                who was manager? One gets sometimes such a flash
                of insight. The essentials of this affair lay deep under
                the surface, beyond my reach, and beyond my power of
                meddling.
                </p>
                <p>"Towards the evening of the second day we judged
                ourselves about eight miles from Kurtz's station. I wanted
                to push on; but the manager looked grave, and told me
                the navigation up there was so dangerous that it would
                be advisable, the sun being very low already, to wait where
                we were till next morning. Moreover, he pointed out that
                if the warning to approach cautiously were to be followed,
                we must approach in daylight — not at dusk or in the
                dark. This was sensible enough. Eight miles meant nearly
                three hours' steaming for us, and I could also see suspicious
                ripples at the upper end of the reach. Nevertheless, I was
                annoyed beyond expression at the delay, and
                most unreasonably, too, since one night more could not
                matter much after so many months. As we had plenty
                of wood, and caution was the word, I brought up in the
                middle of the stream. The reach was narrow, straight,
                with high sides like a railway cutting. The dusk came
                gliding into it long before the sun had set. The current
                ran smooth and swift, but a dumb immobility sat on the
                banks. The living trees, lashed together by the creepers
                and every living bush of the undergrowth, might have
                been changed into stone, even to the slenderest twig,
                to the lightest leaf. It was not sleep—it seemed unnatural,
                like a state of trance. Not the faintest sound of any kind
                could be heard. You looked on amazed, and began to
                suspect yourself of being deaf—then the night came
                suddenly, and struck you blind as well. About three in the
                <pb n="110"/>
                morning some large fish leaped, and the loud splash made
                me jump as though a gun had been fired. When the sun
                rose there was a white fog, very warm and clammy, and
                more blinding than the night. It did not shift or drive;
                it was just there, standing all round you like something
                solid. At eight or nine, perhaps, it lifted as a shutter
                lifts. We had a glimpse of the towering multitude
                of trees, of the immense matted jungle, with the blazing
                little ball of the sun hanging over it—all perfectly still—and
                then the white shutter came down again, smoothly,
                as if sliding in greased grooves. I ordered the chain,
                which we had begun to heave in, to be paid out again. Before
                it stopped running with a muffled rattle, a cry, a very
                loud cry, as of infinite desolation, soared slowly in the
                opaque air. It ceased. A complaining clamour, modulated
                in savage discords, filled our ears. The sheer unexpectedness
                of it made my hair stir under my cap. I don't know
                how it struck the others: to me it seemed as though the
                mist itself had screamed, so suddenly, and apparently
                from all sides at once, did this tumultuous and mournful
                uproar arise. It culminated in a hurried outbreak of almost
                intolerably excessive shrieking, which stopped short,
                leaving us stiffened in a variety of silly attitudes, and
                obstinately listening to the nearly as appalling and excessive
                silence. 'Good God! What is the meaning—' stammered at my
                elbow one of the pilgrims—a little fat man,
                with sandy hair and red whiskers, who wore sidespring
                boots, and pink pyjamas tucked into his socks. Two
                others remained open-mouthed a while minute, then
                dashed into the little cabin, to rush out incontinently and
                stand darting scared glances, with Winchesters at 'ready'
                in their hands. What we could see was just the steamer
                we were on, her outlines blurred as though she had been
                on the point of dissolving, and a misty strip of water,
                perhaps two feet broad, around her—and that was all.
                The rest of the world was nowhere, as far as our eyes
                and ears were concerned. Just nowhere. Gone, disappeared;
                swept off without leaving a whisper or a shadow
                behind.
                </p>
                <p>"I went forward, and ordered the chain to be hauled
                in short, so as to be ready to trip the anchor and move
                the steamboat at once if necessary. 'Will they attack?'
                <pb n="111"/>
                whispered an awed voice. 'We will be all butchered in this
                fog,' murmured another. The faces twitched with the
                strain, the hands trembled slightly, the eyes forgot to
                wink. It was very curious to see the contrast of expressions
                of the white men and of the black fellows of our
                crew, who were as much strangers to that part of the
                river as we, though their homes were only eight hundred
                miles away. The whites, of course greatly discomposed,
                had besides a curious look of being painfully shocked by
                such an outrageous row. The others had an alert, naturally
                interested expression; but their faces were essentially
                quiet, even those of the one or two who grinned as
                they hauled at the chain. Several exchanged short,
                grunting phrases, which seemed to settle the matter to their
                satisfaction. Their headman, a young, broad-chested
                black, severely draped in dark-blue fringed cloths, with
                fierce nostrils and his hair all done up artfully in oily
                ringlets, stood near me. 'Aha!' I said, just for good
                fellowship's sake. 'Catch 'im,' he snapped, with a bloodshot
                widening of his eyes and a flash of sharp teeth—'catch
                'im. Give 'im to us.' 'To you, eh?' I asked; 'what would
                you do with them?' 'Eat 'im!' he said curtly, and, leaning
                his elbow on the rail, looked out into the fog in a dignified
                and profoundly pensive attitude. I would no doubt
                have been properly horrified, had it not occurred to me
                that he and his chaps must be very hungry: that they
                must have been growing increasingly hungry for at least
                this month past. They had been engaged for six months
                (I don't think a single one of them had any clear idea of
                time, as we at the end of countless ages have. They still
                belonged to the beginnings of time — had no inherited experience
                to teach them as it were), and of course, as long
                as there was a piece of paper written over in accordance
                with some farcical law or other made down the river, it
                didn't enter anybody's head to trouble how they would
                live. Certainly they had brought with them some rotten
                hippo-meat, which couldn't have lasted very long, anyway,
                even if the pilgrims hadn't, in the midst of a shocking
                hullabaloo, thrown a considerable quantity of it over-board. It looked like a high-handed proceeding; but it
                was really a case of legitimate self-defence. You can't
                breathe dead hippo waking, sleeping, and eating, and at
                <pb n="112"/>
                the same time keep your precarious grip on existence.
                Besides that, they had given them every week three
                pieces of brass wire, each about nine inches long; and the
                theory was they were to buy their provisions with that
                currency in riverside villages. You can see how <hi rend="italic">that</hi>
                worked. There were either no villages, or the people were
                hostile, or the director, who like the rest of us fed out of
                tins, with an occasional old he-goat thrown in, didn't want
                to stop the steamer for some more or less recondite reason.
                So, unless they swallowed the wire itself, or made
                loops of it to snare the fishes with, I don't see what good
                their extravagant salary could be to them. I must say it
                was paid with a regularity worthy of a large and honourable
                trading company. For the rest, the only thing to
                eat—though it didn't look eatable in the least—I saw in
                their possession was a few lumps of some stuff like half-cooked dough, of a dirty lavender colour, they kept
                wrapped in leaves, and now and then swallowed a piece
                of, but so small that it seemed done more for the looks
                of the thing than for any serious purpose of sustenance.
                Why in the name of all the gnawing devils of hunger
                they didn't go for us—they were thirty to five—and have
                a good tuck-in for once, amazes me now when I think of
                it. They were big powerful men, with not much capacity
                to weigh the consequences, with courage, with strength,
                even yet, though their skins were no longer glossy and
                their muscles no longer hard. And I saw that something
                restraining, one of those human secrets that baffle
                probability, had come into play there. I looked at them with
                a swift quickening of interest—not because it occurred to
                me I might be eaten by them before very long, though I
                own to you that just then I perceived—in a new light, as
                it were—how unwholesome the pilgrims looked, and I
                hoped, yes, I positively hoped, that my aspect was not
                so—what shall I say?—so—unappetizing: a touch of fantastic
                vanity which fitted well with the dream-sensation
                that pervaded all my days at that time. Perhaps I had a
                little fever, too. One can't live with one's finger
                everlastingly on one's pulse. I had often 'a little fever,' or
                a little touch of other things—the playful paw-strokes of the
                wilderness, the preliminary trifling before the more serious
                onslaught which came in due course. Yes; I looked
                <pb n="113"/>
                at them as you would on any human being, with a curiosity
                of their impulses, motives, capacities, weaknesses,
                when brought to the test of an <ref target="_inexorable" corresp="inexorable">inexorable</ref>
                <note target="_inexorable" xml:id="inexorable" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Incapable of being persuaded or moved by entreaty; that cannot be prevailed upon to yield to request;
                not to be moved from one's purpose or determination; relentless, rigidly severe.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note> physical necessity.
                Restraint! What possible restraint? Was it superstition,
                disgust, patience, fear—or some kind of primitive
                honour? No fear can stand up to hunger, no patience can
                wear it out, disgust simply does not exist where hunger
                is; and as to superstition, beliefs, and what you may call
                principles, they are less than chaff in a breeze. Don't you
                know the devilry of lingering starvation, its exasperating
                torment, its black thoughts, its sombre and brooding ferocity?
                Well, I do. It takes a man all his inborn strength
                to fight hunger properly. It's really easier to face
                bereavement, dishonour, and the perdition of one's soul—than
                this kind of prolonged hunger. Sad, but true. And
                these chaps, too, had no earthly reason for any kind of
                scruple. Restraint! I would just as soon have expected
                restraint from a hyena prowling amongst the corpses of a
                battlefield. But there was the fact facing me—the fact
                dazzling, to be seen, like the foam on the depths of the
                sea, like a ripple on an unfathomable enigma, a mystery
                greater—when I thought of it—than the curious,
                inexplicable note of desperate grief in this savage clamour
                that had swept by us on the river-bank, behind the blind
                whiteness of the fog.
                </p>
                <p>"Two pilgrims were quarrelling in hurried whispers as
                to which bank. 'Left.' 'No, no; how can you? Right, right,
                of course.' 'It is very serious,' said the manager's voice
                behind me; 'I would be desolated if anything should happen
                to Mr. Kurtz before we came up.' I looked at him,
                and had not the slightest doubt he was sincere. He was
                just the kind of man who would wish to preserve appearances.
                That was his restraint. But when he muttered
                something about going on at once, I did not even take
                the trouble to answer him. I knew, and he knew, that it
                was impossible. Were we to let go our hold of the bottom,
                we would be absolutely in the air—in space. We
                wouldn't be able to tell where we were going to—whether
                up or down stream, or across—till we fetched against
                one bank or the other—and then we wouldn't know at
                first which it was. Of course I made no move. I had no
                mind for a smash-up. You couldn't imagine a more deadly
                <pb n="114"/>
                place for a shipwreck. Whether we drowned at once or not,
                we were sure to perish speedily in one way or another. 'I
                authorize you to take all the risks,' he said, after a short
                silence. 'I refuse to take any,' I said shortly; which was
                just the answer he expected, though its tone might have
                surprised him. 'Well, I must defer to your judgment. You
                are captain,' he said with marked civility. I turned my
                shoulder to him in sign of my appreciation, and looked
                into the fog. How long would it last? It was the most
                hopeless lookout. The approach to this Kurtz grubbing
                for ivory in the wretched bush was beset by as many dangers
                as though he had been an enchanted princess sleeping in a
                fabulous castle. 'Will they attack, do you think?'
                asked the manager, in a confidential tone.
                </p>
                <p>"I did not think they would attack, for several obvious
                reasons. The thick fog was one. If they left the bank in
                their canoes they would get lost in it, as we would be if
                we attempted to move. Still, I had also judged the jungle
                of both banks quite impenetrable—and yet eyes were in
                it, eyes that had seen us. The riverside bushes were
                certainly very thick; but the undergrowth behind was
                evidently penetrable. However, during the short lift I had
                seen no canoes anywhere in the reach—certainly not
                abreast of the steamer. But what made the idea of attack
                inconceivable to me was the nature of the noise—of
                the cries we had heard. They had not the fierce
                character boding immediate hostile intention. Unexpected,
                wild, and violent as they had been, they had given me an
                irresistible impression of sorrow. The glimpse of the
                steamboat had for some reason filled those savages with
                unrestrained grief. The danger, if any, I expounded, was
                from our proximity to a great human passion let loose.
                Even extreme grief may ultimately vent itself in violence—but—more
                generally takes the form of apathy. . . .
                </p>
                <p>"You should have seen the pilgrims stare! They had
                no heart to grin, or even to revile me: but I believe they
                thought me gone mad—with fright, maybe. I delivered a
                regular lecture. My dear boys, it was no good bothering.
                Keep a lookout? Well, you may guess I watched the fog
                for the signs of lifting as a cat watches a mouse; but for
                anything else our eyes were of no more use to us than if
                we had been buried miles deep in a heap of cotton-wool.
                <pb n="115"/>
                It felt like it, too—choking, warm, stifling. Besides, all
                I said, though it sounded extravagant, was absolutely true
                to fact. What we afterwards alluded to as an attack was
                really an attempt at repulse. The action was very far
                from being aggressive—it was not even defensive, in the
                usual sense: it was undertaken under the stress of
                desperation, and in its essence was purely protective.
                </p>
                <p>"It developed itself, I should say, two hours after the
                fog lifted, and its commencement was at a spot, roughly
                speaking, about a mile and a half below Kurtz's station.
                We had just floundered and flopped round a bend, when
                I saw an islet, a mere grassy hummock of bright green,
                in the middle of the stream. It was the only thing of the
                kind; but as we opened the reach more, I perceived it
                was the head of a long sand-bank, or rather of a chain of
                shallow patches stretching down the middle of the river.
                They were discoloured, just awash, and the whole lot was
                seen just under the water, exactly as a man's backbone
                is seen running down the middle of his back under the
                skin. Now, as far as I did see, I could go to the right or to
                the left of this. I didn't know either channel, of course.
                The banks looked pretty well alike, the depth appeared
                the same; but as I had been informed the station was on
                the west side, I naturally headed for the western passage.
                </p>
                <p>"No sooner had we fairly entered it than I became
                aware it was much narrower than I had supposed. To
                the left of us there was the long uninterrupted shoal, and
                to the right a high, steep bank heavily overgrown with
                bushes. Above the bush the trees stood in serried ranks.
                The twigs overhung the current thickly, and from distance
                to distance a large limb of some tree projected rigidly
                over the stream. It was then well on in the afternoon,
                the face of the forest was gloomy, and a broad strip of
                shadow had already fallen on the water. In this shadow
                we steamed up—very slowly, as you may imagine. I
                sheered her well inshore—the water being deepest near
                the bank, as the sounding-pole informed me.
                </p>
                <p>"One of my hungry and forbearing friends was sounding
                in the bows just below me. This steamboat was
                exactly like a decked scow. On the deck, there were two
                little teakwood houses, with doors and windows. The
                boiler was in the fore-end, and the machinery right astern.
                <pb n="116"/>
                Over the whole there was a light roof, supported on
                stanchions. The funnel projected through that roof, and
                in front of the funnel a small cabin built of light planks
                served for a pilot-house. It contained a couch, two camp-stools, a loaded Martini-Henry leaning in one corner, a
                tiny table, and the steering-wheel. It had a wide door in
                front and a broad shutter at each side. All these were always
                thrown open, of course. I spent my days perched up
                there on the extreme fore-end of that roof, before the
                door. At night I slept, or tried to, on the couch. An
                athletic black belonging to some coast tribe and educated by
                my poor predecessor, was the helmsman. He sported a
                pair of brass earrings, wore a blue cloth wrapper from
                the waist to the ankles, and thought all the world of himself.
                He was the most unstable kind of fool I had ever
                seen. He steered with no end of a swagger while you
                were by; but if he lost sight of you, he became instantly
                the prey of an abject funk, and would let that cripple of a
                steamboat get the upper hand of him in a minute.
                </p>
                <p>"I was looking down at the sounding-pole, and feeling
                much annoyed to see at each try a little more of it stick
                out of that river, when I saw my poleman give up on the
                business suddenly, and stretch himself flat on the deck,
                without even taking the trouble to haul his pole in. He
                kept hold on it though, and it trailed in the water. At
                the same time the fireman, whom I could also see below
                me, sat down abruptly before his furnace and ducked his
                head. I was amazed. Then I had to look at the river
                mighty quick, because there was a snag in the fairway.
                Sticks, little sticks, were flying about—thick: they were
                whizzing before my nose, dropping below me, striking
                behind me against my pilot-house. All this time the
                river, the shore, the woods, were very quiet—perfectly
                quiet. I could only hear the heavy splashing thump of
                the stern-wheel and the patter of these things. We cleared
                the snag clumsily. Arrows, by Jove! We were being shot
                at! I stepped in quickly to close the shutter on the land-side. That fool-helmsman, his hands on the spokes, was
                lifting his knees high, stamping his feet, champing his
                mouth, like a reined-in horse. Confound him! And we
                were staggering within ten feet of the bank. I had to lean
                right out to swing the heavy shutter, and I saw a face
                <pb n="117"/>
                amongst the leaves on the level with my own, looking at
                me very fierce and steady; and then suddenly, as though a
                veil had been removed from my eyes, I made out, deep
                in the tangled gloom, naked breasts, arms, legs, glaring
                eyes — the bush was swarming with human limbs in movement,
                glistening. of bronze colour. The twigs shook,
                swayed, and rustled, the arrows flew out of them, and
                then the shutter came to. 'Steer her straight,' I said to the
                helmsman. He held his head rigid, face forward; but his
                eyes rolled, he kept on lifting and setting down his feet
                gently, his mouth foamed a little. 'Keep quiet!' I said in
                a fury. I might just as well have ordered a tree not to
                sway in the wind. I darted out. Below me there was a
                great scuffle of feet on the iron deck; confused exclamations;
                a voice screamed, 'Can you turn back?' I caught
                sight of a V-shaped ripple on the water ahead. What?
                Another snag! A <ref target="_fusillade" corresp="fusillade">fusillade</ref>
                <note xml:id="fusillade" target="_fusillade" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">A simultaneous discharge of firearms; a wholesale execution by this means.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>burst out under my feet. The
                pilgrims had opened with their Winchesters, and were
                simply squirting lead into that bush. A deuce of a lot of
                smoke came up and drove slowly forward. I swore at it.
                Now I couldn't see the ripple or the snag either. I stood
                in the doorway, peering, and the arrows came in swarms.
                They might have been poisoned, but they looked as
                though they wouldn't kill a cat. The bush began to howl.
                Our wood-cutters raised a warlike whoop; the report of a
                rifle just at my back deafened me. I glanced over my
                shoulder, and the pilot-house was yet full of noise and
                smoke when I made a dash at the wheel. The fool-nigger
                had dropped everything, to throw the shutter open and
                let off that Martini-Henry. He stood before the wide
                opening, glaring, and I yelled at him to come back, while
                I straightened the sudden twist out of that steamboat.
                There was no room to turn even if I had wanted to, the
                snag was somewhere very near ahead in that confounded
                smoke, there was no time to lose, so I just crowded her
                into the bank—right into the bank, where I knew the
                water was deep.
                </p>
                <p>"We tore slowly along the overhanging bushes in a
                whirl of broken twigs and flying leaves. The fusillade
                below stopped short, as I had foreseen it would when the
                squirts got empty. I threw my head back to a glinting
                whizz that traversed the pilot-house, in at one shutter-<pb n="118"/>
                hole and out at the other. Looking past that mad helmsman,
                who was shaking the empty rifle and yelling at the
                shore, I saw vague forms of men running bent double,
                leaping, gliding, distinct, incomplete, evanescent. Something
                big appeared in the air before the shutter, the rifle
                went overboard, and the man stepped back swiftly, looked
                at me over his shoulder in an extraordinary, profound,
                familiar manner, and fell upon my feet. The side of his
                head hit the wheel twice, and the end of what appeared a
                long cane clattered round and knocked over a little camp-stool. It looked as though after wrenching that thing from
                somebody ashore he had lost his balance in the effort.
                The thin smoke had blown away, we were clear of the
                snag, and looking ahead I could see that in another hundred
                yards or so I would be free to sheer off, away from
                the bank; but my feet felt so very warm and wet that I
                had to look down. The man had rolled on his back
                and stared straight up at me; both his hands clutched
                that cane. It was the shaft of a spear that, either thrown
                or lunged through the opening, had caught him in the
                side, just below the ribs; the blade had gone in out of
                sight, after making a frightful gash; my shoes were full;
                a pool of blood lay very still, gleaming dark-red under the
                wheel; his eyes shone with an amazing lustre. The fusillade
                burst out again. He looked at me anxiously, gripping
                the spear like something precious, with an air of being
                afraid I would try to take it away from him. I had to
                make an effort to free my eyes from his gaze and attend
                to the steering. With one hand I felt above my head for
                the line of the steam whistle, and jerked out screech after
                screech hurriedly. The tumult of angry and warlike yells
                was checked instantly, and then from the depths of the
                woods went out such a tremulous and prolonged wail of
                mournful fear and utter despair as may be imagined to
                follow the flight of the last hope from the earth. There
                was a great commotion in the bush; the shower of arrows
                stopped, a few dropping shots rang out sharply—then
                silence, in which the languid beat of the stern-wheel
                came plainly to my ears. I put the helm hard a-starboard
                at the moment when the pilgrim in pink pyjamas, very hot
                and agitated, appeared in the doorway. 'The manager
                sends me—' he began in an official tone, and stopped
                <pb n="119"/>
                short. 'Good God!' he said, glaring at the wounded man.
                </p>
                <p>"We two whites stood over him, and his lustrous and
                inquiring glance enveloped us both. I declare it looked
                as though he would presently put to us some questions
                in an understandable language; but he died without uttering
                a sound, without moving a limb, without twitching
                a muscle. Only in the very last moment, as though in
                response to some sign we could not see, to some whisper
                we could not hear, he frowned heavily, and that frown
                gave to his black death-mask an inconceivably sombre,
                brooding, and menacing expression. The lustre of inquiring
                glance faded swiftly into vacant glassiness. 'Can you
                steer?' I asked the agent eagerly. He looked very dubious;
                but I made a grab at his arm, and he understood
                at once I meant him to steer whether or no. To tell you
                the truth, I was morbidly anxious to change my shoes
                and socks. 'He is dead,' murmured the fellow, immensely
                impressed. 'No doubt about it,' said I, tugging like mad
                at the shoe-laces. 'And by the way, I suppose Mr. Kurtz
                is dead as well by this time.'
                </p>
                <p>"For the moment that was the dominant thought. There
                was a sense of extreme disappointment, as though I had
                found out I had been striving after something altogether
                without a substance. I couldn't have been more disgusted
                if I had travelled all this way for the sole purpose of
                talking with Mr. Kurtz. Talking with . . . I flung one shoe
                overboard, and became aware that that was exactly what
                I had been looking forward to—a talk with Kurtz. I
                made the strange discovery that I had never imagined
                him as doing, you know, but as discoursing. I didn't
                say to myself, 'Now I will never see him,' or 'Now I will
                never shake him by the hand,' but, 'Now I will never
                hear him.' The man presented himself as a voice. Not
                of course that I did not connect him with some sort
                of action. Hadn't I been told in all the tones of jealousy
                and admiration that he had collected, bartered, swindled,
                or stolen more ivory than all the other agents together?
                That was not the point. The point was in his being a
                gifted creature, and that of all his gifts the one that stood
                out preeminently, that carried with it a sense of real
                presence, was his ability to talk, his words—the gift of
                expression, the bewildering, the illuminating, the most
                <pb n="120"/>
                exalted and the most contemptible, the pulsating stream
                of light, or the deceitful flow from the heart of an
                impenetrable darkness.
                </p>
                <p>"The other shoe went flying unto the devil-god of that
                river. I thought, 'By Jove! it's all over. We are too late; he
                has vanished—the gift has vanished, by means of some
                spear, arrow, or club. I will never hear that chap speak
                after all'—and my sorrow had a startling extravagance of
                emotion, even such as I had noticed in the howling sorrow
                of these savages in the bush. I couldn't have felt
                more of lonely desolation somehow, had I been robbed
                of a belief or had missed my destiny in life. . . . Why
                do you sigh in this beastly way, somebody? Absurd? Well,
                absurd. Good Lord! mustn't a man ever—Here, give me
                some tobacco." . . .
                </p>
                <p>There was a pause of profound stillness, then a match
                flared, and Marlow's lean face appeared, worn, hollow,
                with downward folds and dropped eyelids, with an aspect
                of concentrated attention; and as he took vigorous draws
                at his pipe, it seemed to retreat and advance out of the
                night in the regular flicker of tiny flame. The match
                went out.
                </p>
                <p>"Absurd!" he cried. "This is the worst of trying to
                tell. . . . Here you all are, each moored with two good
                addresses, like a hulk with two anchors, a butcher
                round one corner, a policeman round another, excellent
                appetites, and temperature normal—you hear—normal
                from year's end to year's end. And you say, Absurd!
                Absurd be—exploded! Absurd! My dear boys, what can you
                expect from a man who out of sheer nervousness had just
                flung overboard a pair of new shoes! Now I think of it,
                it is amazing I did not shed tears. I am, upon the whole,
                proud of my fortitude. I was cut to the quick at the idea
                of having lost the inestimable privilege of listening to the
                gifted Kurtz. Of course I was wrong. The privilege was
                waiting for me. Oh, yes, I heard more than enough. And
                I was right, too. A voice. He was very little more than a
                voice. And I heard—him—it—this voice—other voices—all—
                of them were so little more than voices—and the
                memory of that time itself lingers around me, impalpable,
                like a dying vibration of one immense jabber, silly,
                atrocious, sordid, savage, or simply mean, without any kind
                <pb n="121"/>
                of sense. Voices, voices—even the girl herself—now—"
                </p>
                <p>He was silent for a long time.
                </p>
                <p>"I laid the ghost of his gifts at last with a lie," he
                began, suddenly. "Girl! What? Did I mention a girl? Oh,
                she is out of it—completely. They—the women, I mean—are
                out of it—should be out of it. We must help them
                to stay in that beautiful world of their own, lest ours
                gets worse. Oh, she had to be out of it. You should have
                heard the <ref corresp="disinterred" target="_disinterred">disinterred</ref>
                <note target="_disinterred" xml:id="disinterred" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                To take out as if from a tomb; to bring out of concealment, ‘unearth’.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>
                body of Mr. Kurtz saying, 'My
                Intended.' You would have perceived directly then how
                completely she was out of it. And the lofty frontal bone
                of Mr. Kurtz! They say the hair goes on growing sometimes,
                but this—ah—specimen, was impressively bald.
                The wilderness had patted him on the head, and, behold,
                it was like a ball—an ivory ball; it had caressed him,
                and—lo!—he had withered; it had taken him, loved him,
                embraced him, got into his veins, consumed his flesh,
                and sealed his soul to its own by the inconceivable ceremonies
                of some devilish initiation. He was its spoiled and
                pampered favourite. Ivory? I should think so. Heaps of it,
                stacks of it. The old mud shanty was bursting with it.
                You would think there was not a single tusk left either
                above or below the ground in the whole country. 'Mostly
                fossil,' the manager had remarked, disparagingly. It was
                no more fossil than I am; but they call it fossil when it is
                dug up. It appears these niggers do bury the tusks
                sometimes—but evidently they couldn't bury this parcel deep
                enough to save the gifted Mr. Kurtz from his fate. We
                filled the steamboat with it, and had to pile a lot on
                the deck. Thus he could see and enjoy as long as he could
                see, because the appreciation of this favour had remained
                with him to the last. You should have heard him say,
                'My ivory.' Oh, yes, I heard him. 'My Intended, my ivory,
                my station, my river, my—' everything belonged to
                him. It made me hold my breath in expectation of hearing
                the wilderness burst into a prodigious peal of laughter
                that would shake the fixed stars in their places. Everything
                belonged to him—but that was a trifle. The thing
                was to know what he belonged to, how many powers of
                darkness claimed him for their own. That was the reflection
                that made you creepy all over. It was impossible—it
                was not good for one either—trying to imagine. He
                <pb n="122"/>
                had taken a high seat amongst the devils of the land—I
                mean literally. You can't understand. How could you?—with
                solid pavement under your feet, surrounded by
                kind neighbours ready to cheer you or to fall on you,
                stepping delicately between the butcher and the policeman,
                in the holy terror of scandal and gallows and lunatic
                asylums—how can you imagine what particular region
                of the first ages a man's untrammelled feet may take
                him into by the way of solitude—utter solitude without
                a policeman—by the way of silence—utter silence, where
                no warning voice of a kind neighbour can be heard
                whispering of public opinion? These little things make all
                the great difference. When they are gone you must fall
                back upon your own innate strength, upon your own
                capacity for faithfulness. Of course you may be too much
                of a fool to go wrong—too dull even to know you are
                being assaulted by the powers of darkness. I take it, no
                fool ever made a bargain for his soul with the devil; the
                fool is too much of a fool, or the devil too much of a
                devil—I don't know which. Or you may be such a thunderingly
                exalted creature as to be altogether deaf and
                blind to anything but heavenly sights and sounds. Then
                the earth for you is only a standing place—and whether
                to be like this is your loss or your gain I won't pretend
                to say. But most of us are neither one nor the other.
                The earth for us is a place to live in, where we must put
                up with sights, with sounds, with smells, too, by Jove!—breathe
                dead hippo, so to speak, and not be contaminated.
                And there, don't you see? Your strength comes in,
                the faith in your ability for the digging of <ref target="_unostentatious" corresp="unostentatious">unostentatious</ref>
                <note target="_unostentatious" xml:id="unostentatious" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Modest, restrained, or understated in manner or style. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>
                holes to bury the stuff in—your power of devotion,
                not to yourself, but to an obscure, back-breaking business.
                And that's difficult enough. Mind, I am not trying to
                excuse or even explain—I am trying to account to myself
                for—for—Mr. Kurtz—for the shade of Mr. Kurtz.
                This initiated wraith from the back of Nowhere honoured
                me with its amazing confidence before it vanished
                altogether. This was because it could speak English to
                me. The original Kurtz had been educated partly in England,
                and—as he was good enough to say himself—his
                sympathies were in the right place. His mother was half-English, his father was half-French. All Europe contributed
                <pb n="123"/>
                to the making of Kurtz; and by and by I learned
                that, most appropriately, the International Society for
                the Suppression of Savage Customs had intrusted him
                with the making of a report, for its future guidance. And
                he had written it, too. I've seen it. I've read it. It was
                eloquent, vibrating with eloquence, but too high-strung,
                I think. Seventeen pages of close writing he had found
                time for! But this must have been before his—let us say—nerves,
                went wrong, and caused him to preside at
                certain midnight dances ending with unspeakable rites,
                which—as far as I reluctantly gathered from what I heard
                at various times—were offered up to him—do you
                understand?—to Mr. Kurtz himself. But it was a beautiful
                piece of writing. The opening paragraph, however, in the
                light of later information, strikes me now as ominous.
                He began with the argument that we whites, from the
                point of development we had arrived at, 'must necessarily
                appear to them [savages] in the nature of supernatural
                beings — we approach them with the might of a deity,'
                and so on, and so on. 'By the simple exercise of our will
                we can exert a power for good practically unbounded,'
                etc., etc. From that point he soared and took me with
                him. The peroration was magnificent, though difficult to
                remember, you know. It gave me the notion of an exotic
                Immensity ruled by an august Benevolence. It made me
                tingle with enthusiasm. This was the unbounded power
                of eloquence — of words — of burning noble words. There
                were no practical hints to interrupt the magic current
                of phrases, unless a kind of note at the foot of the last
                page, scrawled evidently much later, in an unsteady hand,
                may be regarded as the exposition of a method. It was
                very simple, and at the end of that moving appeal to every
                altruistic sentiment it blazed at you, luminous and terrifying,
                like a flash of lightning in a serene sky: 'Exterminate
                all the brutes!' The curious part was that he had
                apparently forgotten all about that valuable postscriptum,
                because, later on, when he in a sense came to himself,
                he repeatedly entreated me to take good care of 'my
                pamphlet' (he called it), as it was sure to have in the
                future a good influence upon his career. I had full
                information about all these things, and, besides, as it
                turned out, I was to have the care of his memory. I've done
                <pb n="124"/>
                enough for it to give me the indisputable right to lay it, if
                I choose, for an everlasting rest in the dust-bin of progress,
                amongst all the sweepings and, figuratively speaking, all the
                dead cats of civilization. But then, you see, I
                can't choose. He won't be forgotten. Whatever he was,
                he was not common. He had the power to charm or
                frighten rudimentary souls into an aggravated witch-dance
                in his honour; he could also fill the small souls of the
                pilgrims with bitter misgivings: he had one devoted
                friend at least, and he had conquered one soul in the
                world that was neither rudimentary nor tainted with self-seeking. No; I can't forget him, though I am not prepared
                to affirm the fellow was exactly worth the life we lost in
                getting to him. I missed my late helmsman awfully—I
                missed him even while his body was still lying in the
                pilot-house. Perhaps you will think it passing strange
                this regret for a savage who was no more account than
                a grain of sand in a black Sahara. Well, don't you see,
                he had done something, he had steered; for months I had
                him at my back—a help—an instrument. It was a kind
                of partnership. He steered for me—I had to look after
                him, I worried about his deficiencies, and thus a subtle
                bond had been created, of which I only became aware
                when it was suddenly broken. And the intimate profundity
                of that look he gave me when he received his hurt
                remains to this day in my memory—like a claim of distant
                kinship affirmed in a supreme moment.
                </p>
                <p>"Poor fool! If he had only left that shutter alone. He
                had no restraint, no restraint—just like Kurtz—a
                tree swayed by the wind. As soon as I had put on
                a dry pair of slippers, I dragged him out, after first jerking
                the spear out of his side, which operation I confess I
                performed with my eyes shut tight. His heels leaped together
                over the little doorstep; his shoulders were pressed
                to my breast; I hugged him from behind desperately.
                Oh! he was heavy, heavy; heavier than any man on earth,
                I should imagine. Then without more ado I tipped him
                overboard. The current snatched him as though he had
                been a wisp of grass, and I saw the body roll over twice
                before I lost sight of it for ever. All the pilgrims and
                the manager were then congregated on the awning-deck
                about the pilot-house, chattering at each other like a
                <pb n="125"/>
                flock of excited magpies, and there was a scandalized
                murmur at my heartless promptitude. What they wanted to
                keep that body hanging about for I can't guess. Embalm
                it, maybe. But I had also heard another, and a very
                ominous, murmur on the deck below. My friends the
                wood-cutters were likewise scandalized, and with a better
                show of reason—though I admit that the reason itself
                was quite inadmissible. Oh, quite! I had made up my
                mind that if my late helmsman was to be eaten, the fishes
                alone should have him. He had been a very second-rate
                helmsman while alive, but now he was dead he might
                have become a first-class temptation, and possibly cause
                some startling trouble. Besides, I was anxious to take the
                wheel, the man in pink pyjamas showing himself a hopeless
                duffer at the business.
                </p>
                <p>"This I did directly the simple funeral was over. We
                were going half-speed, keeping right in the middle of the
                stream, and I listened to the talk about me. They had
                given up Kurtz, they had given up the station; Kurtz was
                dead, and the station had been burnt—and so on—and
                so on. The red-haired pilgrim was beside himself with
                the thought that at least this poor Kurtz had been properly
                avenged. 'Say! We must have made a glorious slaughter
                of them in the bush. Eh? What do you think? Say?'
                He positively danced, the bloodthirsty little gingery
                beggar. And he had nearly fainted when he saw the wounded
                man! I could not help saying, 'You made a glorious lot
                of smoke, anyhow.' I had seen, from the way the tops of
                the bushes rustled and flew, that almost all the shots had
                gone too high. You can't hit anything unless you take
                aim and fire from the shoulder; but these chaps fired
                from the hip with their eyes shut. The retreat, I
                maintained—and I was right—was caused by the screeching
                of the steam whistle. Upon this they forgot Kurtz, and
                began to howl at me with indignant protests.
                </p>
                <p>"The manager stood by the wheel murmuring confidentially
                about the necessity of getting well away down the river
                before dark at all events, when I saw in the distance a
                clearing on the riverside and the outlines of some sort
                of building. 'What's this?' I asked. He clapped his
                hands in wonder. 'The station!' he cried. I edged in at
                once, still going half-speed.
                <pb n="126"/>
                </p>
                <p>"Through my glasses I saw the slope of a hill
                interspersed with rare trees and perfectly free from under-growth. A long decaying building on the summit was
                half buried in the high grass; the large holes in the peaked
                roof gaped black from afar; the jungle and the woods
                made a background. There was no enclosure or fence
                of any kind; but there had been one apparently, for near
                the house half-a-dozen slim posts remained in a row,
                roughly trimmed, and with their upper ends ornamented
                with round carved balls. The rails, or whatever there had
                been between, had disappeared. Of course the forest
                surrounded all that. The river-bank was clear, and on the
                waterside I saw a white man under a hat like a cart-wheel beckoning persistently with his whole arm. Examining
                the edge of the forest above and below, I was almost
                certain I could see movements — human forms gliding
                here and there. I steamed past prudently, then stopped
                the engines and let her drift down. The man on the shore
                began to shout, urging us to land. 'We have been attacked,'
                screamed the manager. 'I know—I know. It's all
                right,' yelled back the other, as cheerful as you please.
                'Come along. It's all right. I am glad.'
                </p>
                <p>"His aspect reminded me of something I had seen—something
                funny I had seen somewhere. As I manoeuvred
                to get alongside, I was asking myself, 'What does this
                fellow look like?' Suddenly I got it. He looked like a
                <ref target="_harlequin" corresp="harlequin">harlequin</ref>
                <note target="_harlequin" xml:id="harlequin" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">A buffoon in general; a fantastic fellow.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>. His clothes had been made of some stuff that
                was brown holland probably, but it was covered with
                patches all over, with bright patches, blue, red, and
                yellow—patches on the back, patches on the front, patches
                on elbows, on knees; coloured binding around his jacket,
                scarlet edging at the bottom of his trousers; and the sun-shine made him look extremely gay and wonderfully neat
                withal, because you could see how beautifully all this
                patching had been done. A beardless, boyish face, very
                fair, no features to speak of, nose peeling, little blue
                eyes, smiles and frowns chasing each other over that open
                countenance like sunshine and shadow on a wind-swept
                plain. 'Look out, captain!' he cried; 'there's a snag lodged
                in here last night.' What! Another snag? I confess I swore
                shamefully. I had nearly holed my cripple, to finish off
                that charming trip. The harlequin on the bank turned
                <pb n="127"/>
                his little pug-nose up to me. 'You English?' he asked, all
                smiles. 'Are you?' I shouted from the wheel. The smiles
                vanished, and he shook his head as if sorry for my
                disappointment. Then he brightened up. 'Never mind!' he
                cried encouragingly. 'Are we in time?' I asked. 'He is up
                there,' he replied, with a toss of the head up the hill,
                and becoming gloomy all of a sudden. His face was like
                the autumn sky, overcast one moment and bright the
                next.
                </p>
                <p>"When the manager, escorted by the pilgrims, all of
                them armed to the teeth, had gone to the house this chap
                came on board. 'I say, I don't like this. These natives
                are in the bush,' I said. He assured me earnestly it was
                all right. 'They are simple people,' he added; 'well, I am
                glad you came. It took me all my time to keep them off.'
                'But you said it was all right,' I cried. 'Oh, they meant
                no harm,' he said; and as I stared he corrected himself,
                'Not exactly.' Then vivaciously, 'My faith, your pilot-house wants a clean-up!' In the next breath he advised
                me to keep enough steam on the boiler to blow the whistle
                in case of any trouble. 'One good screech will do more
                for you than all your rifles. They are simple people,' he
                repeated. He rattled away at such a rate he quite
                overwhelmed me. He seemed to be trying to make up for lots
                of silence, and actually hinted, laughing, that such was
                the case. 'Don't you talk with Mr. Kurtz?' I said. 'You
                don't talk with that man—you listen to him,' he exclaimed
                with severe exaltation. 'But now—' He waved
                his arm, and in the twinkling of an eye was in the utter-most depths of despondency. In a moment he came up
                again with a jump, possessed himself of both my hands,
                shook them continuously, while he gabbled: 'Brother
                sailor . . . honour . . . pleasure . . . delight . . .
                introduce
                myself . . . Russian . . . son of an arch-priest . . .
                Government of Tambov . . . What? Tobacco! English tobacco;
                the excellent English tobacco! Now, that's brotherly. Smoke?
                Where's a sailor that does not smoke?'
                </p>
                <p>"The pipe soothed him, and gradually I made out he
                had run away from school, had gone to sea in a Russian
                ship; ran away again; served some time in English ships;
                was now reconciled with the arch-priest. He made a point
                of that. 'But when one is young one must see things,
                <pb n="128"/>
                gather experience, ideas; enlarge the mind.' 'Here!' I
                interrupted. 'You can never tell! Here I met Mr. Kurtz,'
                he said, youthfully solemn and reproachful. I held my
                tongue after that. It appears he had persuaded a Dutch
                trading-house on the coast to fit him out with stores and
                goods, and had started for the interior with a light heart
                and no more idea of what would happen to him than
                a baby. He had been wandering about that river for nearly
                two years alone, cut off from everybody and everything.
                'I am not so young as I look. I am twenty-five,' he said.
                'At first old Van Shuyten would tell me to go to the devil,'
                he narrated with keen enjoyment; 'but I stuck to him, and
                talked and talked, till at last he got afraid I would talk
                the hind-leg off his favourite dog, so he gave me some
                cheap things and a few guns, and told me he hoped
                he would never see my face again. Good old Dutchman,
                Van Shuyten. I've sent him one small lot of ivory a year
                ago, so that he can't call me a little thief when I get
                back. I hope he got it. And for the rest I don't care.
                I had some wood stacked for you. That was my old
                house. Did you see?'
                </p>
                <p>"I gave him Towson's book. He made as though he
                would kiss me, but restrained himself. 'The only book I
                had left, and I thought I had lost it,' he said, looking at
                it ecstatically. 'So many accidents happen to a man
                going about alone, you know. Canoes get upset sometimes—and
                sometimes you've got to clear out so quick when
                the people get angry.' He thumbed the pages. 'You made
                notes in Russian?' I asked. He nodded. 'I thought they
                were written in cipher,' I said. He laughed, then became
                serious. 'I had lots of trouble to keep these people off,'
                he said. 'Did they want to kill you?' I asked. 'Oh, no!' he
                cried, and checked himself. 'Why did they attack us?' I
                pursued. He hesitated, then said shamefacedly, 'They don't
                want him to go.' 'Don't they?' I said curiously. He nodded
                a nod full of mystery and wisdom. 'I tell you,' he cried,
                'this man has enlarged my mind.' He opened his arms
                wide, staring at me with his little blue eyes that were
                perfectly round."
                <pb n="129"/>
                 </p>
                <head type="sub">III</head>
                <p>"I looked at him, lost in astonishment. There he was
                before me, in motley, as though he had absconded from a
                troupe of mimes, enthusiastic, fabulous. His very existence
                was improbable, inexplicable, and altogether bewildering.
                He was an insoluble problem. It was inconceivable how
                he had existed, how he had succeeded in getting so far,
                how he had managed to remain—why he did not instantly
                disappear. 'I went a little farther,' he said, 'then still a
                little farther—till I had gone so far that I don't know how
                I'll ever get back. Never mind. Plenty time. I can manage.
                You take Kurtz away quick—quick—I tell you.' The glamour
                of youth enveloped his parti-coloured rags, his destitution,
                his loneliness, the essential desolation of his futile
                wanderings. For months—for years—his life hadn't
                been worth a day's purchase; and there he was gallantly,
                thoughtlessly alive, to all appearances indestructible
                solely by the virtue of his few years and of his unreflecting
                audacity. I was seduced into something like admiration—like
                envy. Glamour urged him on, glamour kept
                him unscathed. He surely wanted nothing from the wilderness
                but space to breathe in and to push on through. His
                need was to exist, and to move onwards at the greatest
                possible risk, and with a maximum of privation. If the
                absolutely pure, uncalculating, unpractical spirit of
                adventure had ever ruled a human being, it ruled this
                bepatched youth. I almost envied him the possession of
                this modest and clear flame. It seemed to have consumed
                all thought of self so completely, that even while he was
                talking to you, you forgot that it was he — the man before
                your eyes — who had gone through these things. I did
                not envy him his devotion to Kurtz, though. He had not
                meditated over it. It came to him, and he accepted it
                with a sort of eager fatalism. I must say that to me it
                appeared about the most dangerous thing in every way
                he had come upon so far.
                <pb n="130"/>
                </p>
                <p>"They had come together unavoidably, like two ships
                <ref target="_becalmed" corresp="becalmed">becalmed</ref>
                <note target="_becalmed" xml:id="becalmed" type="gloss" resp="editors.xml#VBS">
                To shelter from, or deprive (a ship) of, wind. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>
                near each other, and lay rubbing sides at last.
                I suppose Kurtz wanted an audience, because on a certain
                occasion, when encamped in the forest, they had
                talked all night, or more probably Kurtz had talked. 'We
                talked of everything,' he said, quite transported at the
                recollection. 'I forgot there was such a thing as sleep. The
                night did not seem to last an hour. Everything!
                Everything! . . . Of love, too.' 'Ah, he talked to you of
                love!'
                I said, much amused. 'It isn't what you think,' he cried,
                almost passionately. 'It was in general. He made me see
                things — things.'
                </p>
                <p>"He threw his arms up. We were on deck at the time,
                and the headman of my wood-cutters, lounging near by,
                turned upon him his heavy and glittering eyes. I looked
                around, and I don't know why, but I assure you that
                never, never before, did this land, this river, this jungle,
                the very arch of this blazing sky, appear to me so hopeless
                and so dark, so impenetrable to human thought, so
                pitiless to human weakness. 'And, ever since, you have
                been with him, of course?' I said.
                </p>
                <p>"On the contrary. It appears their intercourse had
                been very much broken by various causes. He had, as he
                informed me proudly, managed to nurse Kurtz through
                two illnesses (he alluded to it as you would to some
                risky feat), but as a rule Kurtz wandered alone, far in
                the depths of the forest. 'Very often coming to this
                station, I had to wait days and days before he would
                turn up,' he said. 'Ah, it was worth waiting for!—sometimes.'
                'What was he doing? exploring or what?' I asked.
                'Oh, yes, of course'; he had discovered lots of villages,
                a lake, too—he did not know exactly in what direction;
                it was dangerous to inquire too much—but mostly his
                expeditions had been for ivory. 'But he had no goods
                to trade with by that time,' I objected. 'There's a good
                lot of cartridges left even yet,' he answered, looking
                away. 'To speak plainly, he raided the country,' I said.
                He nodded. 'Not alone, surely!' He muttered something
                about the villages round that lake. 'Kurtz got the tribe
                to follow him, did he?' I suggested. He fidgeted a little.
                'They adored him,' he said. The tone of these words was
                so extraordinary that I looked at him searchingly. It was
                <pb n="131"/>
                curious to see his mingled eagerness and reluctance to
                speak of Kurtz. The man filled his life, occupied his
                thoughts, swayed his emotions. 'What can you expect?'
                he burst out; 'he came to them with thunder and lightning,
                you know—and they had never seen anything like
                it—and very terrible. He could be very terrible. You can't
                judge Mr. Kurtz as you would an ordinary man. No, no,
                no! Now—just to give you an idea—I don't mind telling
                you, he wanted to shoot me, too, one day—but I don't
                judge him.' 'Shoot you!' I cried 'What for?' 'Well, I had
                a small lot of ivory the chief of that village near my
                house gave me. You see I used to shoot game for them.
                Well, he wanted it, and wouldn't hear reason. He declared
                he would shoot me unless I gave him the ivory and
                then cleared out of the country, because he could do so,
                and had a fancy for it, and there was nothing on earth
                to prevent him killing whom he jolly well pleased. And
                it was true, too. I gave him the ivory. What did I care!
                But I didn't clear out. No, no. I couldn't leave him. I
                had to be careful, of course, till we got friendly again
                for a time. He had his second illness then. Afterwards
                I had to keep out of the way; but I didn't mind. He
                was living for the most part in those villages on the
                lake. When he came down to the river, sometimes he
                would take to me, and sometimes it was better for me
                to be careful. This man suffered too much. He hated all
                this, and somehow he couldn't get away. When I had a
                chance I begged him to try and leave while there was
                time; I offered to go back with him. And he would say
                yes, and then he would remain; go off on another ivory
                hunt; disappear for weeks; forget himself amongst these
                people—forget himself—you know.' 'Why! he's mad,' I
                said. He protested indignantly. Mr. Kurtz couldn't be mad.
                If I had heard him talk, only two days ago, I wouldn't
                dare hint at such a thing. . . . I had taken up my
                binoculars while we talked, and was looking at the shore,
                sweeping the limit of the forest at each side and at the
                back of the house. The consciousness of there being people
                in that bush, so silent, so quiet—as silent and quiet as
                the ruined house on the hill—made me uneasy. There
                was no sign on the face of nature of this amazing tale
                that was not so much told as suggested to me in desolate
                <pb n="132"/>
                exclamations, completed by shrugs, in interrupted
                phrases, in hints ending in deep sighs. The woods were
                unmoved, like a mask—heavy, like the closed door of a
                prison—they looked with their air of hidden knowledge,
                of patient expectation, of unapproachable silence. The
                Russian was explaining to me that it was only lately that
                Mr. Kurtz had come down to the river, bringing along
                with him all the fighting men of that lake tribe. He had
                been absent for several months—getting himself adored,
                I suppose—and had come down unexpectedly, with the
                intention to all appearance of making a raid either across
                the river or down stream. Evidently the appetite for
                more ivory had got the better of the—what shall I
                say?—less material aspirations. However he had got
                much worse suddenly. 'I heard he was lying helpless,
                and so I came up—took my chance,' said the Russian.
                'Oh, he is bad, very bad.' I directed my glass to the
                house. There were no signs of life, but there was the
                ruined roof, the long mud wall peeping above the grass,
                with three little square window-holes, no two of the same
                size; all this brought within reach of my hand, as it
                were. And then I made a brusque movement, and one
                of the remaining posts of that vanished fence leaped up
                in the field of my glass. You remember I told you I had
                been struck at the distance by certain attempts at
                ornamentation, rather remarkable in the ruinous aspect of the
                place. Now I had suddenly a nearer view, and its first
                result was to make me throw my head back as if before a
                blow. Then I went carefully from post to post with my
                glass, and I saw my mistake. These round knobs were
                not ornamental but symbolic; they were expressive and
                puzzling, striking and disturbing—food for thought and
                also for vultures if there had been any looking down from
                the sky; but at all events for such ants as were industrious
                enough to ascend the pole. They would have been even more
                impressive, those heads on the stakes, if their
                faces had not been turned to the house. Only one, the
                first I had made out, was facing my way. I was not so
                shocked as you may think. The start back I had given
                was really nothing but a movement of surprise. I had
                expected to see a knob of wood there, you know. I returned
                deliberately to the first I had seen—and there it was,
                <pb n="133"/>
                black, dried, sunken, with closed eyelids—a head that
                seemed to sleep at the top of that pole, and, with the
                shrunken dry lips showing a narrow white line of the
                teeth, was smiling, too, smiling continuously at some
                endless and jocose dream of that eternal slumber.
                </p>
                <p>"I am not disclosing any trade secrets. In fact, the
                manager said afterwards that Mr. Kurtz's methods had
                ruined the district. I have no opinion on that point, but I
                want you clearly to understand that there was nothing
                exactly profitable in these heads being there. They only
                showed that Mr. Kurtz lacked restraint in the gratification
                of his various lusts, that there was something wanting in
                him—some small matter which, when the pressing
                need arose, could not be found under his magnificent
                eloquence. Whether he knew of this deficiency himself I
                can't say. I think the knowledge came to him at last—out
                only at the very last. But the wilderness had found him
                early, and had taken on him a terrible vengeance
                for the fantastic invasion. I think it had whispered to
                him things about himself which he did not know, things
                of which he had no conception till he took counsel with
                this great solitude—and the whisper had proved irresistibly
                fascinating. It echoed loudly within him because
                he was hollow at the core. . . . I put down the glass, and
                the head that had appeared near enough to be spoken to
                seemed at once to have leaped away from me into inaccessible
                distance.
                </p>
                <p>"The admirer of Mr. Kurtz was a bit crestfallen. In a
                hurried, indistinct voice he began to assure me he had
                not dared to take these—say, symbols—down. He was
                not afraid of the natives; they would not stir till Mr.
                Kurtz gave the word. His <ref target="_ascendancy" corresp="ascendancy">ascendancy</ref>
                <note target="_ascendancy" xml:id="ascendancy" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Paramount influence, dominant control, domination, sway. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note> was extraordinary.
                The camps of these people surrounded the place, and the
                chiefs came every day to see him. They would crawl. . . .
                'I don't want to know anything of the ceremonies used
                when approaching Mr. Kurtz,' I shouted. Curious, this
                feeling that came over me that such details would be
                more intolerable than those heads drying on the stakes
                under Mr. Kurtz's windows. After all, that was only a
                savage sight, while I seemed at one bound to have been
                transported into some lightless region of subtle horrors,
                where pure, uncomplicated savagery was a positive
                <pb n="134"/>
                relief, being something that had a right to exist—obviously—in
                the sunshine. The young man looked at me with
                surprise. I suppose it did not occur to him that Mr.
                Kurtz was no idol of mine. He forgot I hadn't heard any
                of these splendid monologues on, what was it? on love,
                justice, conduct of life—or what not. If it had come to
                crawling before Mr. Kurtz, he crawled as much as the
                veriest savage of them all. I had no idea of the conditions,
                he said: these heads were the heads of rebels. I
                shocked him excessively by laughing. Rebels! What would
                be the next definition I was to hear? There had been enemies,
                criminals, workers—and these were rebels. Those
                rebellious heads looked very subdued to me on their
                sticks. 'You don't know how such a life tries a man like
                Kurtz,' cried Kurtz's last disciple. 'Well, and you?' I said.
                'I! I! I am a simple man. I have no great thoughts. I
                want nothing from anybody. How can you compare me
                to . . . ?' His feelings were too much for speech, and
                suddenly he broke down. 'I don't understand,' he groaned.
                'I've been doing my best to keep him alive, and that's
                enough. I had no hand in all this. I have no abilities.
                There hasn't been a drop of medicine or a mouthful of
                invalid food for months here. He was shamefully abandoned.
                A man like this, with such ideas. Shamefully!
                Shamefully! I—I—haven't slept for the last ten nights . . .'
                </p>
                <p>"His voice lost itself in the calm of the evening. The
                long shadows of the forest had slipped downhill while we
                talked, had gone far beyond the ruined hovel, beyond
                the symbolic row of stakes. All this was in the gloom,
                while we down there were yet in the sunshine, and the
                stretch of the river abreast of the clearing glittered in a
                still and dazzling splendour, with a murky and overshadowed
                bend above and below. Not a living soul was
                seen on the shore. The bushes did not rustle.
                </p>
                <p>"Suddenly round the corner of the house a group of
                men appeared, as though they had come up from the
                ground. They waded waist-deep in the grass, in a compact
                body, bearing an improvised stretcher in their
                midst. Instantly, in the emptiness of the landscape, a cry
                arose whose shrillness pierced the still air like a sharp
                arrow flying straight to the very heart of the land; and,
                as if by enchantment, streams of human beings—of
                <pb n="135"/>
                naked human beings—with spears in their hands, with
                bows, with shields, with wild glances and savage movements,
                were poured into the clearing by the dark-faced
                and pensive forest. The bushes shook, the grass swayed
                for a time, and then everything stood still in attentive
                immobility.
                </p>
                <p>"'Now, if he does not say the right thing to them we
                are all done for,' said the Russian at my elbow. The knot
                of men with the stretcher had stopped, too, halfway to
                the steamer, as if petrified. I saw the man on the stretcher
                sit up, lank and with an uplifted arm, above the shoulders
                of the bearers. 'Let us hope that the man who can talk
                so well of love in general will find some particular reason
                to spare us this time,' I said. I resented bitterly the
                absurd danger of our situation, as if to be at the mercy of
                that atrocious phantom had been a dishonouring necessity.
                I could not hear a sound, but through my glasses I
                saw the thin arm extended commandingly, the lower jaw
                moving, the eyes of that apparition shining darkly far in
                its bony head that nodded with grotesque jerks. Kurtz—Kurtz—that
                means short in German—don't it? Well, the
                name was as true as everything else in his life—and death.
                He looked at least seven feet long. His covering had fallen
                off, and his body emerged from it pitiful and appalling as
                from a winding-sheet. I could see the cage of his ribs all
                astir, the bones of his arm waving. It was as though an
                animated image of death carved out of old ivory had been
                shaking its hand with menaces at a motionless crowd of
                men made of dark and glittering bronze. I saw him
                open his mouth wide—it gave him a weirdly voracious
                aspect, as though he had wanted to swallow all the air,
                all the earth, all the men before him. A deep voice
                reached me faintly. He must have been shouting. He fell
                back suddenly. The stretcher shook as the bearers staggered
                forward again, and almost at the same time I noticed
                that the crowd of savages was vanishing without any
                perceptible movement of retreat, as if the forest that
                had ejected these beings so suddenly had drawn them in
                again as the breath is drawn in a long aspiration.
                </p>
                <p>"Some of the pilgrims behind the stretcher carried his
                arms—two shot-guns, a heavy rifle, and a light revolver-carbine—the thunderbolts of that pitiful Jupiter. The
                <pb n="136"/>
                manager bent over him murmuring as he walked beside
                his head. They laid him down in one of the little cabins—just
                a room for a bed place and a camp-stool or two, you
                know. We had brought his belated correspondence, and
                a lot of torn envelopes and open letters littered his bed.
                His hand roamed feebly amongst these papers. I was
                struck by the fire of his eyes and the composed languor of
                his expression. It was not so much the exhaustion of
                disease. He did not seem in pain. This shadow looked
                satiated and calm, as though for the moment it had had
                its fill of all the emotions.
                </p>
                <p>"He rustled one of the letters, and looking straight in
                my face said, 'I am glad.' Somebody had been writing to
                him about me. These special recommendations were turning
                up again. The volume of tone he emitted without effort,
                almost without the trouble of moving his lips, amazed
                me. A voice! a voice! It was grave, profound, vibrating,
                while the man did not seem capable of a whisper. However,
                he had enough strength in him—factitious no doubt—to
                very nearly make an end of us, as you shall hear
                directly.
                </p>
                <p>"The manager appeared silently in the doorway; I
                stepped out at once and he drew the curtain after me. The
                Russian, eyed curiously by the pilgrims, was staring at
                the shore. I followed the direction of his glance.
                </p>
                <p>"Dark human shapes could be made out in the distance,
                flitting indistinctly against the gloomy border of the forest,
                and near the river two bronze figures, leaning on tall
                spears, stood in the sunlight under fantastic head-dresses
                of spotted skins, warlike and still in statuesque repose.
                And from right to left along the lighted shore moved a
                wild and gorgeous apparition of a woman.
                </p>
                <p>"She walked with measured steps, draped in striped
                and fringed cloths, treading the earth proudly, with a
                slight jingle and flash of barbarous ornaments. She
                carried her head high; her hair was done in the shape of a
                helmet; she had brass leggings to the knee, brass wire
                gauntlets to the elbow, a crimson spot on her tawny
                cheek, innumerable necklaces of glass beads on her neck;
                bizarre things, charms, gifts of witch-men, that hung about
                her, glittered and trembled at every step. She must have
                had the value of several elephant tusks upon her. She
                <pb n="137"/>
                was savage and superb, wild-eyed and magnificent; there
                was something ominous and stately in her deliberate progress.
                And in the hush that had fallen suddenly upon the
                whole sorrowful land, the immense wilderness, the colossal
                body of the <ref corresp="fecund" target="_fecund">fecund</ref>
                <note xml:id="fecund" target="fecund" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Capable of producing offspring or vegetable growth abundantly; prolific, fertile. Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note> and mysterious life seemed to
                look at her, pensive, as though it had been looking at the
                image of its own <ref target="_tenebrous" corresp="tenebrous">tenebrous</ref>
                <note target="_tenebrous" xml:id="tenebrous" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">Full of darkness, dark.
                Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note> and passionate soul.
                </p>
                <p>"She came abreast of the steamer, stood still, and
                faced us. Her long shadow fell to the water's edge. Her
                face had a tragic and fierce aspect of wild sorrow and of
                dumb pain mingled with the fear of some struggling, half-shaped resolve. She stood looking at us without a stir,
                and like the wilderness itself, with an air of brooding
                over an inscrutable purpose. A whole minute passed, and
                then she made a step forward. There was a low jingle,
                a glint of yellow metal, a sway of fringed draperies, and
                she stopped as if her heart had failed her. The young
                fellow by my side growled. The pilgrims murmured at
                my back. She looked at us all as if her life had depended
                upon the unswerving steadiness of her glance. Suddenly
                she opened her bared arms and threw them up rigid above
                her head, as though in an uncontrollable desire to touch
                the sky, and at the same time the swift shadows darted
                out on the earth, swept around on the river, gathering
                the steamer into a shadowy embrace. A formidable silence
                hung over the scene.
                </p>
                <p>"She turned away slowly, walked on, following the
                bank, and passed into the bushes to the left. Once only
                her eyes gleamed back at us in the dusk of the thickets
                before she disappeared.
                </p>
                <p>"'If she had offered to come aboard I really think I
                would have tried to shoot her,' said the man of patches,
                nervously. 'I have been risking my life every day for the
                last fortnight to keep her out of the house. She got in one
                day and kicked up a row about those miserable rags I
                picked up in the storeroom to mend my clothes with. I
                wasn't decent. At least it must have been that, for she
                talked like a fury to Kurtz for an hour, pointing at me
                now and then. I don't understand the dialect of this
                tribe. Luckily for me, I fancy Kurtz felt too ill that day
                to care, or there would have been mischief. I don't
                <pb n="138"/>
                understand. . . . No—it's too much for me. Ah, well, it's
                all over now.'
                </p>
                <p>"At this moment I heard Kurtz's deep voice behind the
                curtain: 'Save me!—save the ivory, you mean. Don't
                tell me. Save <hi rend="italic">me</hi>! Why, I've had to save you. You are
                interrupting my plans now. Sick! Sick! Not so sick as you
                would like to believe. Never mind. I'll carry my ideas
                out yet—I will return. I'll show you what can be done.
                You with your little peddling notions—you are interfering
                with me. I will return. I. . . .'
                </p>
                <p>"The manager came out. He did me the honour to take
                me under the arm and lead me aside. 'He is very low, very
                low,' he said. He considered it necessary to sigh, but
                neglected to be consistently sorrowful. 'We have done all we
                could for him—haven't we? But there is no disguising the
                fact, Mr. Kurtz has done more harm than good to the
                Company. He did not see the time was not ripe for vigorous
                action. Cautiously, cautiously—that's my principle.
                We must be cautious yet. The district is closed to us for
                a time. Deplorable! Upon the whole, the trade will suffer.
                I don't deny there is a remarkable quantity of ivory—mostly
                fossil. We must save it, at all events—but look
                how precarious the position is—and why? Because the
                method is unsound.' 'Do you,' said I, looking at the shore,
                'call it "unsound method?"' 'Without doubt,' he exclaimed
                hotly. 'Don't you?' . . . 'No method at all,' I
                murmured after a while. 'Exactly,' he exulted. 'I
                anticipated this. Shows a complete want of judgment. It is
                my duty to point it out in the proper quarter.' 'Oh,' said I,
                'that fellow—what's his name?—the brickmaker, will
                make a readable report for you.' He appeared confounded
                for a moment. It seemed to me I had never breathed an
                atmosphere so vile, and I turned mentally to Kurtz for
                relief—positively for relief. 'Nevertheless I think Mr. Kurtz
                is a remarkable man,' I said with emphasis. He started,
                dropped on me a heavy glance, said very quietly,
                'he <hi rend="italic">was</hi>,' and turned his back on me. My hour of favour
                was over; I found myself lumped along with Kurtz as a
                partisan of methods for which the time was not ripe: I
                was unsound! Ah! but it was something to have at least
                a choice of nightmares.
                </p>
                <p>"I had turned to the wilderness really, not to Mr.
                <pb n="139"/>
                Kurtz, who, I was ready to admit, was as good as buried.
                And for a moment it seemed to me as if I also were
                buried in a vast grave full of unspeakable secrets. I felt
                an intolerable weight oppressing my breast, the smell of
                the damp earth, the unseen presence of victorious corruption,
                the darkness of an impenetrable night. . . . The
                Russian tapped me on the shoulder. I heard him mumbling
                and stammering something about 'brother seaman—couldn't
                conceal—knowledge of matters that would
                affect Mr. Kurtz's reputation.' I waited. For him evidently
                Mr. Kurtz was not in his grave; I suspect that for
                him Mr. Kurtz was one of the immortals. 'Well!' said I
                at last, 'speak out. As it happens, I am Mr. Kurtz's
                friend—in a way.'
                </p>
                <p>"He stated with a good deal of formality that had we
                not been 'of the same profession,' he would have kept
                the matter to himself without regard to consequences.
                'He suspected there was an active ill-will towards him on
                the part of these white men that—' 'You are right,' I
                said, remembering a certain conversation I had over-heard. 'The manager thinks you ought to be hanged.' He
                showed a concern at this intelligence which amused me at
                first. 'I had better get out of the way quietly,' he said
                earnestly. 'I can do no more for Kurtz now, and they
                would soon find some excuse. What's to stop them?
                There's a military post three hundred miles from here.'
                'Well, upon my word,' said I, 'perhaps you had better go
                if you have any friends amongst the savages near by.'
                'Plenty,' he said. 'They are simple people—and I want
                nothing, you know.' He stood biting his lip, then: 'I don't
                want any harm to happen to these whites here, but of
                course I was thinking of Mr. Kurtz's reputation—but you
                are a brother seaman and—' 'All right,' said I, after a
                time. 'Mr. Kurtz's reputation is safe with me.' I did not
                know how truly I spoke.
                </p>
                <p>"He informed me, lowering his voice, that it was Kurtz
                who had ordered the attack to be made on the steamer.
                'He hated sometimes the idea of being taken away—and
                then again. . . . But I don't understand these matters. I
                am a simple man. He thought it would scare you away—that
                you would give it up, thinking him dead. I could not
                stop him. Oh, I had an awful time of it this last
                <pb n="140"/>
                month.' 'Very well,' I said. 'He is all right now.' 'Ye-e-es,'
                he muttered, not very convinced apparently. 'Thanks,' said
                I; 'I shall keep my eyes open.' 'But quiet-eh?' he urged
                anxiously. 'It would be awful for his reputation if anybody
                here—' I promised a complete discretion with great
                gravity. 'I have a canoe and three black fellows waiting
                not very far. I am off. Could you give me a few Martini-Henry cartridges?' I could, and did, with proper secrecy.
                He helped himself, with a wink at me, to a handful of
                my tobacco. 'Between sailors—you know—good English
                tobacco.' At the door of the pilot-house he turned round—'I
                say, haven't you a pair of shoes you could spare?' He
                raised one leg. 'Look.' The soles were tied with knotted
                strings sandalwise under his bare feet. I rooted out an
                old pair, at which he looked with admiration before tucking
                it under his left arm. One of his pockets (bright red)
                was bulging with cartridges, from the other (dark blue)
                peeped 'Towson's Inquiry,' etc., etc. He seemed to think
                himself excellently well equipped for a renewed encounter
                with the wilderness. 'Ah! I'll never, never meet such a
                man again. You ought to have heard him recite poetry—his
                own, too, it was, he told me. Poetry!' He rolled his
                eyes at the recollection of these delights. 'Oh, he enlarged
                my mind!' 'Good-bye,' said I. He shook hands and vanished
                in the night. Sometimes I ask myself whether I had ever
                really seen him—whether it was possible to meet such a
                phenomenon! . . .
                </p>
                <p>"When I woke up shortly after midnight his warning
                came to my mind with its hint of danger that seemed, in
                the starred darkness, real enough to make me get up for
                the purpose of having a look round. On the hill a big fire
                burned, illuminating fitfully a crooked corner of the
                station-house. One of the agents with a picket of a few of
                our blacks, armed for the purpose, was keeping guard
                over the ivory; but deep within the forest, red gleams
                that wavered, that seemed to sink and rise from the
                ground amongst confused columnar shapes of intense
                blackness, showed the exact position of the camp where
                Mr. Kurtz's adorers were keeping their uneasy vigil. The
                monotonous beating of a big drum filled the air with
                muffled shocks and a lingering vibration. A steady droning
                sound of many men chanting each to himself some
                <pb n="141"/>
                weird incantation came out from the black, flat wall of
                the woods as the humming of bees comes out of a hive,
                and had a strange narcotic effect upon my half-awake
                senses. I believe I dozed off leaning over the rail, till an
                abrupt burst of yells, an overwhelming outbreak of a
                pent-up and mysterious frenzy, woke me up in a bewildered
                wonder. It was cut short all at once, and the low
                droning went on with an effect of audible and soothing
                silence. I glanced casually into the little cabin. A light
                was burning within, but Mr. Kurtz was not there.
                </p>
                <p>"I think I would have raised an outcry if I had believed
                my eyes. But I didn't believe them at first—the thing
                seemed so impossible. The fact is I was completely unnerved
                by a sheer blank fright, pure abstract terror, unconnected
                with any distinct shape of physical danger.
                What made this emotion so overpowering was—how shall
                I define it?—the moral shock I received, as if something
                altogether monstrous, intolerable to thought and odious
                to the soul, had been thrust upon me unexpectedly. This
                lasted of course the merest fraction of a second, and then
                the usual sense of commonplace, deadly danger, the
                possibility of a sudden onslaught and massacre, or something
                of the kind, which I saw impending, was positively welcome
                and composing. It pacified me, in fact, so much that
                I did not raise an alarm.
                </p>
                <p>"There was an agent buttoned up inside an ulster and
                sleeping on a chair on deck within three feet of me. The
                yells had not awakened him; he snored very slightly; I
                left him to his slumbers and leaped ashore. I did not
                betray Mr. Kurtz—it was ordered I should never betray
                him—it was written I should be loyal to the nightmare
                of my choice. I was anxious to deal with this shadow by
                myself alone—and to this day I don't know why I was
                so jealous of sharing with any one the peculiar blackness
                of that experience.
                </p>
                <p>"As soon as I got on the bank I saw a trail—a broad
                trail through the grass. I remember the exultation with
                which I said to myself, 'He can't walk—he is crawling on
                all-fours—I've got him.' The grass was wet with dew. I
                strode rapidly with clenched fists. I fancy I had some
                vague notion of falling upon him and giving him a drubbing.
                I don't know. I had some imbecile thoughts. The
                <pb n="142"/>
                knitting old woman with the cat obtruded herself upon
                my memory as a most improper person to be sitting at
                the other end of such an affair. I saw a row of pilgrims
                squirting lead in the air out of Winchesters held to the
                hip. I thought I would never get back to the steamer, and
                imagined myself living alone and unarmed in the woods
                to an advanced age. Such silly things—you know. And
                I remember I confounded the beat of the drum with the
                beating of my heart, and was pleased at its calm regularity.
                </p>
                <p>"I kept to the track though—then stopped to listen.
                The night was very clear; a dark blue space, sparkling
                with dew and starlight, in which black things stood very
                still. I thought I could see a kind of motion ahead of me.
                I was strangely cocksure of everything that night. I actually
                left the track and ran in a wide semicircle (I verily
                believe chuckling to myself) so as to get in front of that
                stir, of that motion I had seen — if indeed I had seen anything.
                I was circumventing Kurtz as though it had been a
                boyish game.
                </p>
                <p>"I came upon him, and, if he had not heard me coming,
                I would have fallen over him, too, but he got up in time.
                He rose, unsteady, long, pale, indistinct, like a vapour
                exhaled by the earth, and swayed slightly, misty and silent
                before me; while at my back the fires loomed between
                the trees, and the murmur of many voices issued from
                the forest. I had cut him off cleverly; but when actually
                confronting him I seemed to come to my senses, I saw
                the danger in its right proportion. It was by no means
                over yet. Suppose he began to shout? Though he could
                hardly stand, there was still plenty of vigour in his voice.
                'Go away — hide yourself,' he said, in that profound tone.
                It was very awful. I glanced back. We were within thirty
                yards from the nearest fire. A black figure stood up,
                strode on long black legs, waving long black arms, across
                the glow. It had horns—antelope horns, I think—on its
                head. Some sorcerer, some witch-man, no doubt: it
                looked fiendlike enough. 'Do you know what you are
                doing?' I whispered. 'Perfectly,' he answered, raising his
                voice for that single word: it sounded to me far off and
                yet loud, like a hail through a speaking-trumpet. 'If he
                makes a row we are lost,' I thought to myself. This clearly
                was not a case for fisticuffs, even apart from the very
                <pb n="143"/>
                natural aversion I had to beat that Shadow—this wandering
                and tormented thing. 'You will be lost,' I said—'utterly
                lost.' One gets sometimes such a flash of inspiration,
                you know. I did say the right thing, though indeed he
                could not have been more irretrievably lost than he was
                at this very moment, when the foundations of our intimacy
                were being laid—to endure—to endure—even to
                the end—even beyond.
                </p>
                <p>"'I had immense plans,' he muttered irresolutely.
                'Yes,' said I; 'but if you try to shout I'll smash your head
                with — ' There was not a stick or a stone near. 'I will
                throttle you for good,' I corrected myself. 'I was on the
                threshold of great things,' he pleaded, in a voice of
                longing, with a wistfulness of tone that made my blood run
                cold. 'And now for this stupid scoundrel—' 'Your success
                in Europe is assured in any case,' I affirmed steadily.
                I did not want to have the throttling of him, you understand—and
                indeed it would have been very little use for
                any practical purpose. I tried to break the spell—the
                heavy, mute spell of the wilderness—that seemed to draw
                him to its pitiless breast by the awakening of forgotten and
                brutal instincts, by the memory of gratified and monstrous
                passions. This alone, I was convinced, had driven him
                out to the edge of the forest, to the bush, towards the
                gleam of fires, the throb of drums, the drone of weird
                incantations; this alone had beguiled his unlawful soul
                beyond the bounds of permitted aspirations. And, don't you
                see, the terror of the position was not in being knocked on
                the head—though I had a very lively sense of that danger,
                too—but in this, that I had to deal with a being to whom
                I could not appeal in the name of anything high or low.
                I had, even like the niggers, to invoke him—himself—his
                own exalted and incredible degradation. There was
                nothing either above or below him, and I knew it. He had
                kicked himself loose of the earth. Confound the man! he
                had kicked the very earth to pieces. He was alone, and I
                before him did not know whether I stood on the ground
                or floated in the air. I've been telling you what we
                said—repeating the phrases we pronounced—but what's the
                good? They were common everyday words—the familiar,
                vague sounds exchanged on every waking day of life. But
                what of that? They had behind them, to my mind, the
                <pb n="144"/>
                terrific suggestiveness of words heard in dreams, of
                phrases spoken in nightmares. Soul! If anybody ever
                struggled with a soul, I am the man. And I wasn't arguing
                with a lunatic either. Believe me or not, his intelligence
                was perfectly clear—concentrated, it is true, upon himself
                with horrible intensity, yet clear; and therein was my
                only chance—barring, of course, the killing him there
                and then, which wasn't so good, on account of unavoidable
                noise. But his soul was mad. Being alone in the wilderness,
                it had looked within itself, and, by heavens! I tell
                you, it had gone mad. I had—for my sins, I suppose—to
                go through the ordeal of looking into it myself. No
                eloquence could have been so withering to one's belief in
                mankind as his final burst of sincerity. He struggled with
                himself, too. I saw it—I heard it. I saw the inconceivable
                mystery of a soul that knew no restraint, no faith, and
                no fear, yet struggling blindly with itself. I kept my head
                pretty well; but when I had him at last stretched on the
                couch, I wiped my forehead, while my legs shook under
                me as though I had carried half a ton on my back down
                that hill. And yet I had only supported him, his bony
                arm clasped round my neck—and he was not much
                heavier than a child.
                </p>
                <p>"When next day we left at noon, the crowd, of whose
                presence behind the curtain of trees I had been acutely
                conscious all the time, flowed out of the woods again,
                filled the clearing, covered the slope with a mass of naked,
                breathing, quivering, bronze bodies. I steamed up a bit,
                then swung down stream, and two thousand eyes followed
                the evolutions of the splashing, thumping, fierce
                river-demon beating the water with its terrible tail and
                breathing black smoke into the air. In front of the first
                rank, along the river, three men, plastered with bright
                red earth from head to foot, strutted to and fro restlessly.
                When we came abreast again, they faced the river,
                stamped their feet, nodded their horned heads, swayed
                their scarlet bodies; they shook towards the fierce river-demon a bunch of black feathers, a mangy skin with a
                pendent tail—something that looked a dried gourd;
                they shouted periodically together strings of amazing
                words that resembled no sounds of human language; and
                <pb n="145"/>
                the deep murmurs of the crowd, interrupted suddenly,
                were like the responses of some satanic litany.
                </p>
                <p>"We had carried Kurtz into the pilot-house: there was
                more air there. Lying on the couch, he stared through the
                open shutter. There was an <ref target="_eddy" corresp="eddy">eddy</ref>
                <note target="_eddy" xml:id="eddy" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Wind, fog, dust, etc. moving in a similar way; a circular movement of wind, etc. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>
                in the mass of human
                bodies, and the woman with helmeted head and tawny
                cheeks rushed out to the very brink of the stream. She
                put out her hands, shouted something, and all that wild
                mob took up the shout in a roaring chorus of articulated,
                rapid, breathless utterance.
                </p>
                <p>"'Do you understand this?' I asked.
                </p>
                <p>"He kept on looking out past me with fiery, longing
                eyes, with a mingled expression of wistfulness and hate.
                He made no answer, but I saw a smile, a smile of indefinable
                meaning, appear on his colourless lips that a moment
                after twitched convulsively. 'Do I not?' he said
                slowly, gasping, as if the words had been torn out of him
                by a supernatural power.
                </p>
                <p>"I pulled the string of the whistle, and I did this
                because I saw the pilgrims on deck getting out their rifles
                with an air of anticipating a jolly lark. At the sudden
                screech there was a movement of abject terror through
                that wedged mass of bodies. 'Don't! don't you frighten
                them away,' cried some one on deck <ref target="_disconsolately" corresp="disconsolately">disconsolately</ref>
                <note target="_disconsolately" xml:id="disconsolately" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                Unhappily; without comfort or consolation. Source: Oxford English Dictionary</note>. I
                pulled the string time after time. They broke and ran,
                they leaped, they crouched, they swerved, they dodged
                the flying terror of the sound. The three red chaps had
                fallen flat, face down on the shore, as though they had
                been shot dead. Only the barbarous and superb woman
                did not so much as flinch, and stretched tragically her
                bare arms after us over the sombre and glittering river.
                </p>
                <p>"And then that imbecile crowd down on the deck
                started their little fun, and I could see nothing more for
                smoke.
                </p>
                <p>"The brown current ran swiftly out of the heart of
                darkness, bearing us down towards the sea with twice the
                speed of our upward progress; and Kurtz's life was running
                swiftly, too, ebbing, ebbing out of his heart into the
                sea of inexorable time. The manager was very placid, he
                had no vital anxieties now, he took us both in with a
                comprehensive and satisfied glance: the 'affair' had come
                <pb n="146"/>
                off as well as could be wished. I saw the time approaching
                when I would be left alone of the party of 'unsound
                method.' The pilgrims looked upon me with disfavour. I
                was, so to speak, numbered with the dead. It is strange
                how I accepted this unforeseen partnership, this choice
                of nightmares forced upon me in the tenebrous land invaded
                by these mean and greedy phantoms.
                </p>
                <p>"Kurtz discoursed. A voice! a voice! It rang deep to
                the very last. It survived his strength to hide in the
                magnificent folds of eloquence the barren darkness of his
                heart. Oh, he struggled! he struggled! The wastes of
                his weary brain were haunted by shadowy images now—images
                of wealth and fame revolving obsequiously round
                his unextinguishable gift of noble and lofty expression.
                My Intended, my station, my career, my ideas—these
                were the subjects for the occasional utterances of elevated
                sentiments. The shade of the original Kurtz frequented
                the bedside of the hollow sham, whose fate it
                was to be buried presently in the mould of primeval earth.
                But both the diabolic love and the unearthly hate of the
                mysteries it had penetrated fought for the possession of
                that soul satiated with primitive emotions, avid of lying
                fame, of sham distinction, of all the appearances of
                success and power.
                </p>
                <p>"Sometimes he was contemptibly childish. He desired
                to have kings meet him at railway-stations on his return
                from some ghastly Nowhere, where he intended to accomplish
                great things. 'You show them you have in you something
                that is really profitable, and then there will be no
                limits to the recognition of your ability,' he would say.
                'Of course you must take care of the motives—right
                motives—always.' The long reaches that were like one and
                the same reach, monotonous bends that were exactly
                alike, slipped past the steamer with their multitude of
                secular trees looking patiently after this grimy fragment
                of another world, the forerunner of change, of conquest,
                of trade, of massacres, of blessings. I looked ahead—piloting.
                'Close the shutter,' said Kurtz suddenly one
                day; 'I can't bear to look at this.' I did so. There was a
                silence. 'Oh, but I will wring your heart yet!' he cried at
                the invisible wilderness.
                </p>
                <p>"We broke down—as I had expected—and had to lie
                <pb n="147"/>
                up for repairs at the head of an island. This delay was
                the first thing that shook Kurtz's confidence. One
                morning he gave me a packet of papers and a photograph—the
                lot tied together with a shoe-string. 'Keep this for me,'
                he said. 'This noxious fool' (meaning the manager) 'is
                capable of prying into my boxes when I am not looking.'
                In the afternoon I saw him. He was lying on his back
                with closed eyes, and I withdrew quietly, but I heard him
                mutter, 'Live rightly, die, die . . .' I listened. There was
                nothing more. Was he rehearsing some speech in his
                sleep, or was it a fragment of a phrase from some
                newspaper article? He had been writing for the papers and
                meant to do so again, 'for the furthering of my ideas.
                It's a duty.'
                </p>
                <p>"His was an impenetrable darkness. I looked at him
                as you peer down at a man who is lying at the bottom of
                a precipice where the sun never shines. But I had not
                much time to give him, because I was helping the
                engine-driver to take to pieces the leaky cylinders, to
                straighten a bent connecting-rod, and in other such matters.
                I lived in an infernal mess of rust, filings, nuts, bolts,
                spanners, hammers, ratchet-drills—things I abominate,
                because I don't get on with them. I tended the little forge
                we fortunately had aboard; I toiled wearily in a wretched
                scrap-heap—unless I had the shakes too bad to stand.
                </p>
                <p>"One evening coming in with a candle I was startled
                to hear him say a little tremulously, 'I am lying here in the
                dark waiting for death.' The light was within a foot of his
                eyes. I forced myself to murmur, 'Oh, nonsense!' and
                stood over him as if transfixed.
                </p>
                <p>"Anything approaching the change that came over his
                features I have never seen before, and hope never to see
                again. Oh, I wasn't touched. I was fascinated. It was as
                though a veil had been rent. I saw on that ivory face
                the expression of sombre pride, of ruthless power, of
                craven terror—of an intense and hopeless despair. Did he
                live his life again in every detail of desire, temptation,
                and surrender during that supreme moment of complete
                knowledge? He cried in a whisper at some image, at
                some vision—he cried out twice, a cry that was no more
                than a breath:
                </p>
                <p>"'The horror! The horror!'
                <pb n="148"/>
                </p>
                <p>"I blew the candle out and left the cabin. The pilgrims
                were dining in the mess-room, and I took my place opposite
                the manager, who lifted his eyes to give me a questioning
                glance, which I successfully ignored. He leaned
                back, serene, with that peculiar smile of his sealing the
                unexpressed depths of his meanness. A continuous shower
                of small flies streamed upon the lamp, upon the cloth,
                upon our hands and faces. Suddenly the manager's boy
                put his insolent black head in the doorway, and said in a
                tone of scathing contempt:
                </p>
                <p>"'Mistah Kurtz—he dead.'
                </p>
                <p>"All the pilgrims rushed out to see. I remained, and
                went on with my dinner. I believe I was considered brutally
                callous. However, I did not eat much. There was a
                lamp in there—light, don't you know—and outside it was
                so beastly, beastly dark. I went no more near the
                remarkable man who had pronounced a judgment upon the
                adventures of his soul on this earth. The voice was gone.
                What else had been there? But I am of course aware that
                next day the pilgrims buried something in a muddy hole.
                </p>
                <p>"And then they very nearly buried me.
                </p>
                <p>"However, as you see, I did not go to join Kurtz there
                and then. I did not. I remained to dream the nightmare
                out to the end, and to show my loyalty to Kurtz once
                more. Destiny. My destiny! Droll thing life is — that
                mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile
                purpose. The most you can hope from it is some knowledge of
                yourself — that comes too late — a crop of unextinguishable
                regrets. I have wrestled with death. It is the most
                unexciting contest you can imagine. It takes place in an
                impalpable greyness, with nothing underfoot, with nothing
                around, without spectators, without clamour, without
                glory, without the great desire of victory, without the
                great fear of defeat, in a sickly atmosphere of tepid
                scepticism, without much belief in your own right, and still
                less in that of your adversary. If such is the form of
                ultimate wisdom, then life is a greater riddle than some of us
                think it to be. I was within a hair's breadth of the last
                opportunity for pronouncement, and I found with humiliation
                that probably I would have nothing to say. This is the
                reason why I affirm that Kurtz was a remarkable man.
                He had something to say. He said it. Since I had peeped
                <pb n="149"/>
                over the edge myself, I understand better the meaning of
                his stare, that could not see the flame of the candle, but
                was wide enough to embrace the whole universe, piercing
                enough to penetrate all the hearts that beat in the
                darkness. He had summed up—he had judged. 'The horror!'
                He was a remarkable man. After all, this was the expression
                of some sort of belief; it had candour, it had
                conviction, it had a vibrating note of revolt in its whisper,
                it had the appalling face of a glimpsed truth—the strange
                commingling of desire and hate. And it is not my own
                extremity I remember best—a vision of greyness without
                form filled with physical pain, and a careless contempt
                for the evanescence of all things—even of this pain itself.
                No! It is his extremity that I seem to have lived through.
                True, he had made that last stride, he had stepped over
                the edge, while I had been permitted to draw back my
                hesitating foot. And perhaps in this is the whole
                difference; perhaps all the wisdom, and all truth, and all
                sincerity, are just compressed into that inappreciable
                moment of time in which we step over the threshold of the
                invisible. Perhaps! I like to think my summing-up would
                not have been a word of careless contempt. Better his
                cry—much better. It was an affirmation, a moral victory
                paid for by innumerable defeats, by abominable terrors,
                by abominable satisfactions. But it was a victory! That is
                why I have remained loyal to Kurtz to the last, and even
                beyond, when a long time after I heard once more, not
                his own voice, but the echo of his magnificent eloquence
                thrown to me from a soul as translucently pure as a cliff
                of crystal.
                </p>
                <p>"No, they did not bury me, though there is a period of
                time which I remember mistily, with a shuddering wonder,
                like a passage through some inconceivable world
                that had no hope in it and no desire. I found myself back
                in the sepulchral city resenting the sight of people
                hurrying through the streets to filch a little money from each
                other, to devour their infamous cookery, to gulp their
                unwholesome beer, to dream their insignificant and silly
                dreams. They trespassed upon my thoughts. They were
                intruders whose knowledge of life was to me an irritating
                pretence, because I felt so sure they could not possibly
                know the things I knew. Their bearing, which was simply
                <pb n="150"/>
                the bearing of commonplace individuals going about their
                business in the assurance of perfect safety, was offensive
                to me like the outrageous flauntings of folly in the face of
                a danger it is unable to comprehend. I had no particular
                desire to enlighten them, but I had some difficulty in
                restraining myself from laughing in their faces so full of
                stupid importance. I daresay I was not very well at
                that time. I tottered about the streets — there were various
                affairs to settle — grinning bitterly at perfectly
                respectable persons. I admit my behaviour was inexcusable,
                but then my temperature was seldom normal in these
                days. My dear aunt's endeavours to 'nurse up my strength'
                seemed altogether beside the mark. It was not my strength
                that wanted nursing, it was my imagination that wanted
                soothing. I kept the bundle of papers given me by Kurtz,
                not knowing exactly what to do with it. His mother had
                died lately, watched over, as I was told, by his Intended.
                A clean-shaved man, with an official manner and wearing
                gold-rimmed spectacles, called on me one day and
                made inquiries, at first circuitous, afterwards suavely
                pressing, about what he was pleased to denominate
                certain 'documents.' I was not surprised, because I had
                had two rows with the manager on the subject out there.
                I had refused to give up the smallest scrap out of that
                package, and I took the same attitude with the spectacled
                man. He became darkly menacing at last, and with much
                heat argued that the Company had the right to every bit
                of information about its 'territories.' And said he, 'Mr.
                Kurtz's knowledge of unexplored regions must have been
                necessarily extensive and peculiar—owing to his great
                abilities and to the deplorable circumstances in which he
                had been placed: therefore—'I assured him Mr.
                Kurtz's knowledge, however extensive, did not bear upon
                the problems of commerce or administration. He invoked
                then the name of science. 'It would be an incalculable loss
                if,' etc., etc. I offered him the report on the 'Suppression
                of Savage Customs,' with the postscriptum torn off. He
                took it up eagerly, but ended by sniffing at it with an
                air of contempt. 'This is not what we had a right to expect,'
                he remarked. 'Expect nothing else,' I said. 'There
                are only private letters.' He withdrew upon some threat of
                legal proceedings, and I saw him no more; but another
                <pb n="151"/>
                fellow, calling himself Kurtz's cousin, appeared two days
                later, and was anxious to hear all the details about his
                dear relative's last moments. Incidentally he gave me to
                understand that Kurtz had been essentially a great
                musician. 'There was the making of an immense success,'
                said the man, who was an organist, I believe, with lank
                grey hair flowing over a greasy coat-collar. I had no
                reason to doubt his statement; and to this day I am unable
                to say what was Kurtz's profession, whether he ever had
                any—which was the greatest of his talents. I had taken
                him for a painter who wrote for the papers, or else for a
                journalist who could paint—but even the cousin (who
                took snuff during the interview) could not tell me what
                he had been—exactly. He was a universal genius—on
                that point I agreed with the old chap, who thereupon
                blew his nose noisily into a large cotton handkerchief
                and withdrew in senile agitation, bearing off some family
                letters and memoranda without importance. Ultimately a
                journalist anxious to know something of the fate of his
                'dear colleague' turned up. This visitor informed me
                Kurtz's proper sphere ought to have been politics 'on the
                popular side.' He had furry straight eyebrows, bristly hair
                cropped short, an eyeglass on a broad ribbon, and, becoming
                expansive, confessed his opinion that Kurtz really
                couldn't write a bit—'but heavens! how that man could
                talk. He electrified large meetings. He had faith—don't
                you see?—he had the faith. He could get himself to
                believe anything—anything. He would have been a splendid
                leader of an extreme party.' 'What party?' I asked.
                'Any party,' answered the other. 'He was an—an—extremist.'
                Did I not think so? I assented. Did I know, he
                asked, with a sudden flash of curiosity, 'what it was that
                had induced him to go out there?' 'Yes,' said I, and
                forthwith handed him the famous Report for publication, if he
                thought fit. He glanced through it hurriedly, mumbling all
                the time, judged 'it would do,' and took himself off with
                this plunder.
                </p>
                <p>"Thus I was left at last with a slim packet of letters and
                the girl's portrait. She struck me as beautiful—I mean
                she had a beautiful expression. I know that the sunlight
                <pb n="152"/>
                can be made to lie, too, yet one felt that no manipulation
                of light and pose could have conveyed the delicate
                shade of truthfulness upon those features. She seemed
                ready to listen without mental reservation, without suspicion,
                without a thought for herself. I concluded I would
                go and give her back her portrait and those letters myself.
                Curiosity? Yes; and also some other feeling perhaps.
                All that had been Kurtz's had passed out of my hands:
                his soul, his body, his station, his plans, his ivory, his
                career. There remained only his memory and his Intended—and
                I wanted to give that up, too, to the past, in
                a way—to surrender personally all that remained of him
                with me to that oblivion which is the last word of our
                common fate. I don't defend myself. I had no clear
                perception of what it was I really wanted. Perhaps it was an
                impulse of unconscious loyalty, or the fulfilment of one
                of those ironic necessities that lurk in the facts of
                human existence. I don't know. I can't tell. But I went.
                </p>
                <p>"I thought his memory was like the other memories of
                the dead that accumulate in every man's life—a vague
                impress on the brain of shadows that had fallen on it in
                their swift and final passage; but before the high and
                ponderous door, between the tall houses of a street as
                still and decorous as a well-kept alley in a cemetery, I
                had a vision of him on the stretcher, opening his mouth
                <ref corresp="voraciously" target="_voraciously">voraciously</ref>
                <note target="_voraciously" xml:id="voraciously" resp="editors.xml#VBS" type="gloss">
                greedily, gluttonously, ravenously. Source: Oxford English Dictionary
                </note>, as if to devour all the earth with all its
                mankind. He lived then before me; he lived as much as he had
                ever lived—a shadow insatiable of splendid appearances,
                of frightful realities; a shadow darker than the shadow of
                the night, and draped nobly in the folds of a gorgeous
                eloquence. The vision seemed to enter the house with
                me—the stretcher, the phantom-bearers, the wild crowd
                of obedient worshippers, the gloom of the forests, the
                glitter of the reach between the murky bends, the beat of the
                drum, regular and muffled like the beating of a heart—the
                heart of a conquering darkness. It was a moment of
                triumph for the wilderness, an invading and vengeful
                rush which, it seemed to me, I would have to keep back
                alone for the salvation of another soul. And the memory
                of what I had heard him say afar there, with the horned
                shapes stirring at my back, in the glow of fires, within the
                <pb n="153"/>
                patient woods, those broken phrases came back to me,
                were heard again in their ominous and terrifying simplicity.
                I remembered his abject pleading, his abject threats,
                the colossal scale of his vile desires, the meanness,
                the torment, the tempestuous anguish of his soul.
                And later on I seemed to see his collected languid manner,
                when he said one day, 'This lot of ivory now is really
                mine. The Company did not pay for it. I collected it
                myself at a very great personal risk. I am afraid they will
                try to claim it as theirs though. H'm. It is a difficult case.
                What do you think I ought to do—resist? Eh? I want no
                more than justice.' . . . He wanted no more than justice—no
                more than justice. I rang the bell before a mahogany
                door on the first floor, and while I waited he seemed to
                stare at me out of the glassy panel—stare with that wide
                and immense stare embracing, condemning, loathing all
                the universe. I seemed to hear the whispered cry, "The
                horror! The horror!"
                </p>
                <p>"The dusk was falling. I had to wait in a lofty drawing-room with three long windows from floor to ceiling that
                were like three luminous and bedraped columns. The bent
                gilt legs and backs of the furniture shone in indistinct
                curves. The tall marble fireplace had a cold and monumental
                whiteness. A grand piano stood massively in a corner;
                with dark gleams on the flat surfaces like a sombre and
                polished
                sarcophagus. A high door opened—closed. I rose.
                </p>
                <p>"She came forward, all in black, with a pale head,
                floating towards me in the dusk. She was in mourning. It
                was more than a year since his death, more than a year
                since the news came; she seemed as though she would remember
                and mourn forever. She took both my hands
                in hers and murmured, 'I had heard you were coming.' I
                noticed she was not very young—I mean not girlish. She
                had a mature capacity for fidelity, for belief, for suffering.
                The room seemed to have grown darker, as if all the sad
                light of the cloudy evening had taken refuge on her forehead.
                This fair hair, this pale visage, this pure brow,
                seemed surrounded by an ashy halo from which the dark
                eyes looked out at me. Their glance was guileless, profound,
                confident, and trustful. She carried her sorrowful
                <pb n="154"/>
                head as though she were proud of that sorrow, as though
                she would say, 'I—I alone know how to mourn for him
                as he deserves.' But while we were still shaking hands,
                such a look of awful desolation came upon her face that
                I perceived she was one of those creatures that are not
                the playthings of Time. For her he had died only yesterday.
                And, by Jove! the impression was so powerful that for
                me, too, he seemed to have died only yesterday—nay, this
                very minute. I saw her and him in the same instant of
                time—his death and her sorrow—I saw her sorrow in the
                very moment of his death. Do you understand? I saw
                them together—I heard them together. She had said,
                with a deep catch of the breath, 'I have survived' while
                my strained ears seemed to hear distinctly, mingled with
                her tone of despairing regret, the summing up whisper
                of his eternal condemnation. I asked myself what I was
                doing there, with a sensation of panic in my heart as
                though I had blundered into a place of cruel and absurd
                mysteries not fit for a human being to behold. She motioned
                me to a chair. We sat down. I laid the packet
                gently on the little table, and she put her hand over it.
                . . . 'You knew him well,' she murmured, after a moment
                of mourning silence.
                </p>
                <p>"'Intimacy grows quickly out there,' I said. 'I knew him
                as well as it is possible for one man to know another.'
                </p>
                <p>"'And you admired him,' she said. 'It was impossible
                to know him and not to admire him. Was it?'
                </p>
                <p>"'He was a remarkable man,' I said, unsteadily. Then
                before the appealing fixity of her gaze, that seemed to
                watch for more words on my lips, I went on, 'It was
                impossible not to—'
                </p>
                <p>"'Love him,' she finished eagerly, silencing me into
                an appalled dumbness. 'How true! how true! But when
                you think that no one knew him so well as I! I had all
                his noble confidence. I knew him best.'
                </p>
                <p>"'You knew him best,' I repeated. And perhaps she
                did. But with every word spoken the room was growing
                darker, and only her forehead, smooth and white, remained
                illumined by the inextinguishable light of belief
                and love.
                </p>
                <p>"'You were his friend,' she went on. 'His friend,' she
                <pb n="155"/>
                repeated, a little louder. 'You must have been, if he had
                given you this, and sent you to me. I feel I can speak to
                you—and oh! I must speak. I want you—you who have
                heard his last words—to know I have been worthy of
                him. . . . It is not pride. . . . Yes! I am proud to know
                I understood him better than any one on earth—he told
                me so himself. And since his mother died I have had no
                one—no one—to—to—'
                </p>
                <p>"I listened. The darkness deepened. I was not even
                sure whether he had given me the right bundle. I rather
                suspect he wanted me to take care of another batch of
                his papers which, after his death, I saw the manager
                examining under the lamp. And the girl talked, easing her
                pain in the certitude of my sympathy; she talked as thirsty
                men drink. I had heard that her engagement with Kurtz
                had been disapproved by her people. He wasn't rich
                enough or something. And indeed I don't know whether
                he had not been a pauper all his life. He had given me
                some reason to infer that it was his impatience of
                comparative poverty that drove him out there.
                </p>
                <p>"'. . . Who was not his friend who had heard him speak
                once?' she was saying. 'He drew men towards him by
                what was best in them.' She looked at me with intensity.
                'It is the gift of the great,' she went on, and the sound of
                her low voice seemed to have the accompaniment of
                all the other sounds, full of mystery, desolation, and
                sorrow, I had ever heard—the ripple of the river, the
                soughing of the trees swayed by the wind, the murmurs of the
                crowds, the faint ring of incomprehensible words cried
                from afar, the whisper of a voice speaking from beyond
                the threshold of an eternal darkness. 'But you have heard
                him! You know!' she cried.
                </p>
                <p>"'Yes, I know,' I said with something like despair in
                my heart, but bowing my head before the faith that was
                in her, before that great and saving illusion that shone
                with an unearthly glow in the darkness, in the triumphant
                darkness from which I could not have defended her—from
                which I could not even defend myself.
                </p>
                <p>"'What a loss to me—to us!'—she corrected herself
                with beautiful generosity; then added in a murmur, 'To
                the world.' By the last gleams of twilight I could see the
                <pb n="156"/>
                glitter of her eyes, full of tears—of tears that would not
                fall.
                </p>
                <p>"'I have been very happy—very fortunate—very
                proud,' she went on. 'Too fortunate. Too happy for a
                little while. And now I am unhappy for—for life.'
                </p>
                <p>"She stood up; her fair hair seemed to catch all the
                remaining light in a glimmer of gold. I rose, too.
                </p>
                <p>"'And of all this,' she went on mournfully, 'of all his
                promise, and of all his greatness, of his generous mind, of
                his noble heart, nothing remains—nothing but a memory.
                You and I—'
                </p>
                <p>"'We shall always remember him,' I said hastily.
                </p>
                <p>"'No!' she cried. 'It is impossible that all this should
                be lost—that such a life should be sacrificed to leave
                nothing—but sorrow. You know what vast plans he had. I
                knew of them, too—I could not perhaps understand—but
                others knew of them. Something must remain. His words,
                at least, have not died.'
                </p>
                <p>"'His words will remain,' I said.
                </p>
                <p>"'And his example,' she whispered to herself. 'Men
                looked up to him—his goodness shone in every act. His
                example—'
                </p>
                <p>"'True,' I said; 'his example, too. Yes, his example. I
                forgot that.'
                </p>
                <p>"But I do not. I cannot—I cannot believe—not yet. I
                cannot believe that I shall never see him again, that no-body will see him again, never, never, never.'
                </p>
                <p>"She put out her arms as if after a retreating figure,
                stretching them back and with clasped pale hands across
                the fading and narrow sheen of the window. Never see
                him! I saw him clearly enough then. I shall see this
                eloquent phantom as long as I live, and I shall see her, too, a
                tragic and familiar Shade, resembling in this gesture another
                one, tragic also, and bedecked with powerless charms,
                stretching bare brown arms over the glitter of the
                infernal stream, the stream of darkness. She said suddenly
                very low, 'He died as he lived.'
                </p>
                <p>"'His end,' said I, with dull anger stirring in me, 'was
                in
                every way worthy of his life.'
                </p>
                <p>"'And I was not with him,' she murmured. My anger
                subsided before a feeling of infinite pity.
                <pb n="157"/>
                </p>
                <p>"'Everything that could be done—' I mumbled.
                </p>
                <p>"'Ah, but I believed in him more than any one on
                earth—more than his own mother, more than—himself.
                He needed me! Me! I would have treasured every sigh,
                every word, every sign, every glance.'
                </p>
                <p>"I felt like a chill grip on my chest. 'Don't,' I said, in
                a muffled voice.
                </p>
                <p>"'Forgive me. I—I have mourned so long in silence—in
                silence. . . . You were with him—to the last? I think of
                his loneliness. Nobody near to understand him as I would
                have understood. Perhaps no one to hear. . . .'
                </p>
                <p>"'To the very end,' I said, shakily. 'I heard his very
                last words. . . .' I stopped in a fright.
                </p>
                <p>"'Repeat them,' she murmured in a heart-broken
                tone. 'I want—I want—something—something—to—to
                live with.'
                </p>
                <p>"I was on the point of crying at her, 'Don't you hear
                them?' The dusk was repeating them in a persistent
                whisper all around us, in a whisper that seemed to swell
                menacingly like the first whisper of a rising wind. 'The
                horror! The horror!'
                </p>
                <p>"'His last word—to live with,' she insisted. 'Don't you
                understand I loved him—I loved him—I loved him!'
                </p>
                <p>"I pulled myself together and spoke slowly.A
                </p>
                <p>"'The last word he pronounced was—your name.'
                </p>
                <p>"I heard a light sigh and then my heart stood still,
                stopped dead short by an exulting and terrible cry, by
                the cry of inconceivable triumph and of unspeakable pain.
                'I knew it—I was sure!' . . . She knew. She was sure. I
                heard her weeping; she had hidden her face in her hands.
                It seemed to me that the house would collapse before I
                could escape, that the heavens would fall upon my head.
                But nothing happened. The heavens do not fall for such a
                trifle. Would they have fallen, I wonder, if I had rendered
                Kurtz that justice which was his due? Hadn't he said he
                wanted only justice? But I couldn't. I could not tell her.
                It would have been too dark—too dark altogether. . . ."
                </p>
                <p>Marlow ceased, and sat apart, indistinct and silent, in
                the pose of a meditating Buddha. Nobody moved for a
                time. "We have lost the first of the ebb," said the Director
                suddenly. I raised my head. The offing was barred
                <pb n="158"/>
                by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway
                leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre
                under an overcast sky—seemed to lead into the heart of
                an immense darkness.</p>
        </body>
    </text>
</TEI>